newly edited poem...rated 4.1 by 41 ppl....

please read an old poem of mine that i just edited....its rated 4.1 by 41 ppl...and i'd like to rase that up a bit so tell me what i'v done wrong in exchange i'll read TWO of yours....just tell me right here which one's you'd like me to read....and i promise to be completely honest if you will...thx in advance!!

its called "drowning in my own mistakes" oh ok haha thx i'm off to read some of yours

n/e 1 else?

oh ya and now its 4.2....i lied...hah

ok i just read it...it was utterly amazing and beautiful i loved it so much

could you please read one more poem of mine? its not too long....but i'd really appreciate it....its called thank you and its about my b/f