THE DEAL YOU JUST CANT RESIST

I'LL READ THREE OF YOUR POEMS IF YOU'LL JUST PLEASE READ MY ONE POEM...."DROWNING IN MY OWN MISTAKES"...I JUST EDITED IT FOR THE SECOND TIME AND IM TRYING TO MAKE IT AS GOOD AS POSSIBLE....PLEASE BE BRUTELLY HONEST AND TELL ME WHERE EXACTLY I SHOULD REVISE...AND I'LL DO THE SAME FOR YOU!! thx in advance! ttyl