joke hehe

blonde doing a jigsaw turns to her husband and says, "Can you help me please? It's supposed to be a tiger!"

husband turns to blonde and snaps, "Put the damn frosties back in the box!"

lol, that was funny!

^_^ Thanks for entertaining me with that, lol.

wife and husband celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary... they start to fight... husband turns to wife.."when you die im gna get engraved on ur headstone "here lies my wife, cold as ever!"
"Oh yeah?" wife replies.."When u die ima get engraved on urs "here lies my husband, stiff at last!!"

LOL....THAT WAS FUNNY^

" If there are any idiots in the room, will they please stand up? " said the sarcastic teacher.
After a long silence, one freshman rose to his feet.

" Now then mister, why do U consider yourself an idiot? " enquired the teacher with a sneer.

" well, actually I don't, " said the student, " But I hate to see U standing up there all by yourself. " ^_^

lol that was funny aaaaaaahhhhh

hAHAHAHAHAH heheheheh that was a good one lmfao

can anyone tell im drunk??

very funny!

very funny!

"hAHAHAHAHAH heheheheh that was a good one lmfao

can anyone tell im drunk??"

No.

omg that was hilarious, I'm gonna tell my friends that one!!!

here are some more ^_^

The loaded mini-van pulled in to the only remaining campsite. Four children leaped from the vehicle and began feverishly unloading gear and setting up the tent. The boys rushed to gather firewood, while the girls and their mother set up the camp stove and cooking utensils.

A nearby camper marveled to the youngsters' father, "That, sir, is some display of teamwork."

The father replied, "I have a system. No one goes to the bathroom until the camp is set up."

A blond guy gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. "What's up?" he says. "I'm having a heart attack," cries the woman. He rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as he's dialing, his 4-year-old son comes up and says, "Daddy! Daddy! Uncle Ted's hiding in your closet and he's got no clothes on!" The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor. "You bastard!" says the husband, "My wife's having a heart attack and you're running around naked scaring the kids!"

Nah i didnt either, But im thinkin maybe she was trying to put the frosties together like the tiger on the box. Is that right, coz i dunno wat frosties are lol

I don't get the first joke either and all that did was make me want a frostie!! yummm *drools*

I got another one ^_^

A preacher was completing a temperance sermon. With great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." And then finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." He sat down. The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn # 365: "Shall We Gather at the River."

lol google "kellogs frosties" and i think you'll all get it.... haha.

Gabby.. they're Frosted Flakes. You know with Tony the Tiger on the box? "They're Grrrrrreat!"

Sound familiar at all?

here a joke ^_^

Old Lady Makes Three Wishes

An old lady is rocking away the last of her days on her front porch, reflecting on her long life. All of a sudden a fairy godmother appears in front of her and informs her that she will be granted three wishes. "Well, now." says the old lady "I guess I would like to be really rich." *POOF* her rocking chair turns to solid gold. "And, gee, I guess I wouldn't mind being a young, beautiful princess." *POOF* she turns into a beautiful young woman. "Your third wish?" asks the fairy godmother. Just then the old woman's cat wanders across the porch in front of them. "Ooh-can you change him into a handsome prince?" she asks. *POOF* there before her stands a young man more handsome than anyone could possibly inagine. She stares at him, smitten. With a smile that makes her knees weak he saunters across the porch and whispers in her ear "Bet you're sorry you had me neutered."

ok three women walkin home after a night out... very drunk... they decide to take a shortcut throught the cemetary... half way thru they both get the urge to have a wee... so one takes her knickers off and wipes herself with them...the other uses the card off a nearby wreath of flowers...

next day the two husbands meet up and one says to the other.."did your wife get home alright lasnt?"
"Yeah," he replies, "Why?"
"Well wen my wife got home she had her knickers in her pocket and they were soaking!"
"You think thats bad? when mine got home she had a card stuck between the cheeks of her arse saying "We'll miss you, from all the boys at the fire house"

two guys sittin in a doctors waiting room looking very unsettled... one says to the other "what are you here for?"
"Well....." he whispers lookin around..."I have a red ring around my willy"
"oh" says the first one.."I have the same problem only mine is green"
the doctor calls the man with the red ring in and after a few mins he comes back out lookin v happy. he walks over to the other guy and tells him its ok that the doctor told him to jus go home and soak in a hot bath.
the doctor calls the green ring man in and has a look... "oh" he exclaims...."thats gna hafta be amputated!"
"What?! you told the other guy to go home and soak in a hot bath!"
"Yes," replied the doctor, "But there is a difference between lipstick and gangrene"

man in supermarket asks other guy "have u seen my wife?"
"no" he replies "i'm looking for mine too... she's twenty two with long blonde hair, shapely tanned legs, big breasts, and has the most amazing face you've ever seen. what does yours look like? we can look for them together."
"Hell with that!" the first guy replies. "Let's just look for yours!!"

lol gabby.. blonde? :P

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo!! I get it she thought the pieces of cereal were the puzzle pieces!! WoW!! my friend just spent 10 minutes explaining that to me!! Wow I feel dumb!!

well i dint know they were called frosted flakes somewhere else....im from ireland and they are called frosties

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:

---------------------------------
Cheese Sandwich € 1.50
Chicken Sandwich € 2.50
Hand Job €10.00
---------------------------------

Checking his wallet he finds one single ten euro note.

He walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men.

"Yes?" she inquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?"

"I was wondering", whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the hand-jobs?"

"Yes", she purrs, "indeed I am!"

“Good. Wash your hands – I want a cheese sandwich.”

A duck walks into a shop and says to the guy 'have ya got any duck food?'
'no sorry, we dont' he says.
so the duck leaves

the next day the same duck comes back and says to the same man 'have ya got any duck food?'
the man replies 'no, i told you yesterday, we dont.'

the duck comes in again the next day and the next few days always asking the same question then finally one day the man snaps
'WE DONT SELL DUCK FOOD AND IF YOU ASK ME ONE MORE TIME IM GONNA GET A HAMMER AND NAIL YOUR NUTS TO THE FLOOR!!!!'

the next day the duck comes into the shop
'have ya got a hammer?' he asks
'no' the man replies
'have ya got any nails?'
'no'
so the duck says ...
'have ya got any duck food?'

...I'm gonna be such a blonde for this one... ^^^I don't get it.

three young boys fuck, shit and manners, are walkin a wall one day one of them falls off and another goes to help him up wen a police man comes up and says to the remaining one "what's your name?"
"fuck" replies the kid
"What is your name!?" the policeman asks again getting angry.
"fuck" replies the kid again.
"That's a disgrace," says the policman. "where's your manners?"
"over the wall picking up shit"

why do blonde girls keep an empty carton of milk in their fridge?

just incase someone wants a black coffee

lol good one

what do u call a blonde under a wheel barrow.......
a mechanic!!

hahaha wow they're ace haha

love
XxFeEBeDeExX

just da let u know, blond jokes are immature especially if u spell blond like "blonde" WRONG

does nobody listen to me when i say im irish???? ffs we spell things differently. realize/realise blond/blonde now shup this is a joke forum not a complaints one!

oh and i am BLONDER than BLONDE!!!! so there.

lol...wow i feel stupid...i had to read it 3 times before i got it...but that was hilarious

erm hehe.

did you hear about the stripper who went to the doctor for a full medical?
the doctor ended up paying the stripper instead for the "pls remove your clothing" routine!

A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.

Although initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two are tired and fall asleep quickly -- he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.

At 2:00 a.m., he leans over and gently wakes the woman, saying, "Ma`am, I`m sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I`m awfully cold."

"I have a better idea," she replies. "Just for tonight, let`s pretend that we`re married."

"Wow! That`s a great idea!!" he exclaims.

"Good," she replies. "Get your own blanket."

Haha. Good on her :P
All these jokes are great.

Oh and Foreva Young
Blonde is blonde. Not "Blond". So deal with it.
And also, learn to type.
"Just da let u know"
Ew.

But yer the jokes are awesome guys ^.^

hehe we thank you (also thanks for stickin it to the forever young one lmfao)

ALright - hows this? A letter from a mother to her son . . .

Dear Son,

Just a few lines to let you know I'm alive. I'm writing this letter
slowly cause I know you can't read very fast. You won't know the
house when you come because we've moved. I won't be able to send you the address as the last family that lived here took the
numbers off for their next house to they won't have to change their
address. About your father, he has a new job. He has over 500 men under him. He's cutting the grass at the cemetary. There was a washing machine in the new house when we moved in, but it isn't
working too good. Last week, I put 14 shirts in it, pulled the chain,
and I haven't seen them since. Your sister Mary had a baby this
morning. I haven't found out if it's a boy or girl, so I don't know
if you're an aunt or an uncle. Your uncle Dick drowned last week in
the distillery. Some of the workers dove in to save him but he fought them off bravely. He had his body creamated and it took three days to put out the fire. Your father didn't have too much to drink this Christmas. I put a bottle of caster oil in a pint of beer. It kept him going until New Years Day. I went to the doctor on Thursday and your father came with me. The doc put a small tube in my mouth and told me not to open it for ten minutes. Your father offered to buy it from him. It only rained twice last week. Three days the first time and four the next. Monday was so windy that one of our chickens laid the same egg four times. We got a letter from the undertaker yesterday - he said that if the last statement isn't paid on your grandmother's funeral within seven days, up she come! I hope you like the jacket I sent you - Uncle Mick said that it would be too heavy with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

Love,

Mum

P.S. I was going to send you ten dollars but I had already sealed the
envelope.

********************************************************

Hehe . . .

Peace. [Sole]