Darien's Conversation with Himself

Lol.. Booooo lmao.

I need something to make me smile =(

Darien, this is simply amazing...

No more, no less.

AMAZING.

Thanks you Jordan :)

no i wasnt wearing socks... but they were jumping up and down in the drawer and started a mosh pit! WHOO!!!!!

"Santa: No you moron! The Loch Ness monster is real, we're just imaginary characters!! Like Frosty the Snowman, Mickey Mouse and Jesus."

and

"Toothfairy: You know how annoying it is having to fly around giving old people money!?.. I mean Santa and I last Christmas took a visit to George Bush's house. Geez, I don't think that guy will ever grow up!!

Santa: I gave him a teddy this year. He kept writing me letters threatening to bomb the North Pole if I didn't give him a new teddy."

Had two be the two funniest things I've read so far..

Toothfairy: You know how annoying it is having to fly around giving old people money!?.. I mean Santa and I last Christmas took a visit to George Bush's house. Geez, I don't think that guy will ever grow up!!

Santa: I gave him a teddy this year. He kept writing me letters threatening to bomb the North Pole if I didn't give him a new teddy.

^ lmao..that is so funny. It definitely sounds like something George Bush would do.

haha, glad you enjoyed :)

Dangit Darien... brain freeze??? whered all the funny go?

*Jesus, Noah, Moses and David were hanging out one day. They had decided to visit the mall and see what was new. The first store they entered was Wal-Mart*

Moses: Wow, this place is pretty big! Who could building such a place!?

Noah: Well, I had to build the arc remember? Well, that was big, but this placeis huge!! I could never build something this big.

Jesus: Yeah, I'm the son of God, and I couldn't build something this big, this is like, the biggest thing since, umm bread. Oh wait, I mean sliced bread!

Adam: I had a woman made from my rib, I think that's pretty big.

Everyone: Ohh right..

Jesus: Anyways, I wonder if I made something up, something so bizarre, so weird, but sounds so real, I wonder if they would have it?

Noah: Uhh, go for it Jesus! You the man!

*Jesus walks up to a Wal-Mart employee named Matt*

Jesus: Hey, uhh Matt. I have a question for you. Where is the umm, big wooden monkey that washes dishes and um, dries your hands!?

Matt: Pfft, buddy. What, do you think I'm stupid?Huh, you don't think I've been working here long enough? Well, for your information.. it's in Aisle 32! So ha! Thought you could have fooled me huh?

Jesus: Holy crap!!! Are they on sale!?!? I want one!!

*Superman, Spiderman and Batman were hanging out one day*

Superman: You know guys, I thought about moving back to Canada. Somewhere in the Praries. I didn't really like Ottawa too much.

Spiderman: Ohh yeah, I never liked it there. Why do you think the people are so corrupt!? It's because we don't go there anymore!!

Batman: The news in Ottawa is so different, it's like all about politics or people dying or killing someone.

Superman: Exactly! The news in the Praries would be something more like; "5 fishermen got lost in the woods, trying to look for Cod fish. They were missing for 3 days, and survived eatting their bait. When they were found, they were estatic. Look one of them is running to his wife! Oh wait, no nevermind, he was just bumming a smoke."

Batman: Yeah, I know. That's normal there. But anywhere in Canada is great. I love their free healthcare.

Spiderman: I love it too! It makes the medicine cheaper, and we all know how I need my medicine.

Superman: Oh man, that reminds me of that time, where you found the split personality medicine in your roommates medicine cabinet, but then you realized you lived alone!

Spiderman: Tell me about it. I hate that guy. He comes visit me every so often. I told him to leave me alone, and that he's crazy. He wouldn't listen though.

Superman: It's ok. I get that too. That guy Clark Kent comes to visit me. He tells me crazy stuff like, how he's me and shit. Man, like that's true. How can there be two of me? I wasn't ever cloned! Well, except that one time. But I accidently threw me off a balcony when we had that house party.

Batman: Ohh man, you were so smashed. I didn't even know which the real one of you was.

Superman: Well, the real one is me. Because I'm alive, and he's dead.

Spiderman: True say.

I really liked these two excerpts...

When they were found, they were estatic. Look one of them is running to his wife! Oh wait, no nevermind, he was just bumming a smoke."

and

Batman: Ohh man, you were so smashed. I didn't even know which the real one of you was.

Superman: Well, the real one is me. Because I'm alive, and he's dead.

Spiderman: True say.

HAHAHAHA! You're quite the creative one, there Darien. I love it.

Lol thanks :)

I try.

YAY the funny is back!!! i liked:

"Jesus: Holy crap!!! Are they on sale!?!? I want one!!"

and i want one too!

Yeah!.. me too! I wanted one for a long time.. lmao

omg...these are so funny...you just made my day...can't wait to read more!

WHOO!!! Darien is awesome funny!!!

Lol, sorry guys.. I'm gonna have to retire from this for a while.. but like Michael Jordan..

I'll return..

lol... like Michael Jordan???

that was pretty good...

LMFAO!!!

I hadn't read these in awhile. HAHA!! You wrote one with superman in it.. *daydreams* Lmao!

Oh god. They made me laugh, which I needed. =P

haha don't worry Nat..

you'll find your Superman one day. And you know he'll be the right guy. Because he'll be wearing tights. *shivers* and uhh, if he can do it for you, then you know he's the one :P

HAHA, hilarious^

OMMFG!!!!!!!! You are teh bestest Darien I mean. Holy shi*!!!!!!!!!!!!

You totally rock my sox, and other such articles of clothing!

I can't wait to read more!

haha don't worry Nat..

you'll find your Superman one day. And you know he'll be the right guy. Because he'll be wearing tights. *shivers* and uhh, if he can do it for you, then you know he's the one :P

^^LMFAO!!! Oh god. I hope I find my superman soon. I just don't really want him to wear tights though.. buuuuuuuuuut, I spose it'd be kinda cool. {like ballet guys ;)} Lmao! ...Lol

LMAO... ur fun...

And his underwear will be outside his tights, and he'll run around the house going "swooosh!!!" and you'll join in with the "swoosh!!!"ing because your supergirl, and the house will be full of swooshing noises...

And then I'll come over, and sit down on your coach, and I'll eat superman ice cream, and watch you two 'fly' around the hosue. (Superman ice cream is rainbow ice cream that tastes REAL good.)

Oh YUM!

You're making me hungry =P Taha.

and then you'll both get brain freeze.. and I
the MEGA EARTHWORM.. will take over the world!! muhahahaha.. and FYI..

I won't be wearing tights *shivers*

Haha~ ..you don't have to wear tights. =P

Sorry no offence,,, but i didnt like the jokes of JESUS... i am a christian,,, and dont like to make jokes like that! :(

Lol, I'm Catholic, a very strong Catholic, but I still like to laugh about certain things.

and I did put an advisory..

I'm Catholic too.

I'm Jewish. but seriously, he put in an advisory, meaning that it was going to have some things that would be bad or disagreed with. i dont think it should be held against him for that.

*Elvis, 2pac, Hitler and Osama were hanging out in the land of nothingness*

Hitler: You know, the only reason we're out here is because people think we're dead. We should just take the next bus back to New York.

Osama: I can't go to New York! They'll arrest me, and do dirty things to me!

2pac: I can't go back there! That's where I got shot. People will think I'm a ghost or something. Ohh shit! Let's go back dawg! I wanna play a prank on Snoop!

Elvis: Uhh, why do you want to go to New York Hitler? I don't think Americans like you.

Hitler: Well I can't go anywhere in the world! But in America, people will just think I'm some stupid drunk and will just throw me around and swear at me and tell me to go back where I came from.

Osama: Isn't that what they did in Germany!?

Hitler: Yeah, but I was really drunk!

2pac: haha! I hear you Hitler. You are the man. You were great at that party last night. You picked up 3 chicks and a tranvestite.

Hitler: Eww, it was a woman. I thought it was a man!

Osama: Hey! that was my daughter! Just because she has a lot of hair on her doesn't mean she's a man!

Elvis: I'll let you ladies argue. Elvis has left the building.

Omg, hilarious!

~BJ~

ROTFLMAO!!!!

wow darien... you make me smile.

"2pac: I can't go back there! That's where I got shot. People will think I'm a ghost or something. Ohh shit! Let's go back dawg! I wanna play a prank on Snoop!"

that was awesome. but seriously, how does tupac come back from the dead to magically create a new album every year?!

Haha.
Omg so funny.

|--Megan--|

haha.. yeaahh i dont know but he's pretty good to do something like that.. he really must have magical powers.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Omg Darien, I didn't notice you posted another one. Lmfao. That was funny. ..And I was eating when I was laughing.. ewwwww. Lmao

lol... hey darien... you gonna post anymore soon??? and have you read my random thoght of the day post? its called squeegies cuz i was bored.. and if you have then you should SO post there!!! CUZ I BE THE QUEEN OF SPORKS!!!!

Lol I havent read it.. I'll look for it now :)