"Out On The Tiles" (PLEASE RRC-All Will Be Returned)

Hey guys, I would really REALLY like some of you guys to read my new poem, "Out On The Tiles." It is the first (4 line stanza) poem I have done without any rhyme scheme. I would like some feedback on how it is! THANKS!!!

http://www.poems-and-quotes.com/life/poems.php?id=715727

All RRCs will be returned!!!

I'm gonna go look at your poem right now.
And if you get a chance to look at one of mine in return, and give some feedback I'd really appreciate it :)

I like it would you please r/r/c One Nation Under God