im pregnant

Well usually people say it's "unfair" to not tell the dad because they may want the child.
Which I don't agree with :]
But if it would ruin his life, I say don't tell him, unless you really want to.x

"It" is not an it but a child. No offence but that post disturbed me, "Should I tell him before I get rid of it" Are you living for him or for yourself because if you want to have an abortion just because he said it would ruin his life to be a father at his age, whatever that is, is just thinking about him. Would you regret having an abortion? That is the main thing you should be thinking about. You took the chance having sex. You are pregnant. How is that the child's fault? The child didn't ask to be concieved now, did he/she? The child didn't ask to have this boy as a father. The child may not have a say in this but you do. You have to be able to accept the abortion if you go through with it. Yes there is always ADOPTION. People who would love to raise a child. Who may not be able to have their own.

"It will be gone soon anyways"

I can not believe how you're talking. It's your choice but calling a baby an it and that it would be gone as if the baby never mattered nor will ever matter. Yes you protected yourself, that was smart, but this baby exists at the moment. Think for yourself not for the father.

"what do i do? tell him b4 i get rid of it? i dont know what to do."
I suppose I can't stop you simply with a few words, but I will tell you this... you can't "get rid of it" only kill it. It being a baby. A fetus is only a baby without the larger facial and corporal characteristics. Abortion is still murder, and it rests on people's conscience in a horrible way. But I cannot stop you. I do not want to feel responsible, that I didn't say anything at all. But I am saddened at your decision.

//T.L.//

Angelina, I respect you and everything.
Yes you are most likely right and I am wrong. The thing is it is my belief that a baby is just that a baby from the moment it is conceived. I don't enjoy people calling a child an it and the term abortion being called, Getting rid of it." Our beliefs are different in you probably go by medical definations with calling the baby a fetus. Which you are right. My belief though I stated above. Either way, I think me and you can agree that adoption might be a good bet. Then again, it's her choice.

Firstly Leah Im sorry you have to go thru th is even after taking the necessary precautions to not fall pregnant. You make the choice thats right for you and dont worry about the thoughts and opinions of others, the people that really love and care for you will respect your choice regardless.

Adoption. I agree with Kaylee that the baby is a baby, not an "it"... Having an abortion is murder... Even if you really want the abortion, you will be haunted with the guilt for the rest of your life... unless you're a morbid and uncaring person...

Sorry... had to say something..

~BJ~

I believe the original poster is asking for advise on whether to tell the dad, not trying to start an abortion debate.

I think that if you aren't with him anymore than it isn't necessary for you to tell him. However if you think there is a chance he will end up finding out anyways, then maybe it would be better to tell him yourself. That's a tricky one, best wishes to you.xx

And Lyla is right guys, she's already made the decision to have an abortion, that's not the advice she was looking for.

I think you should tell him. What's the worst that can happen? You already have your mind made up to have an abortion, so what's the harm in telling him? And who knows, things could completely turn around and he may want the baby! It's better to tell him now then tell him 5 years from now when the baby is dead and regret it because it turned out that he has wanted it all along.. make sense?

I really have to agree with this. From the baby is conceived till s/he dies as an old person they are a human being. abortion is MURDER!!

im with kaylee, why not have the baby and give him/her up for adoption, that baby hasnt done anything wrong to deserve death...

i dont understand u girls, why do u get urself into this...in one hand it is really not good to have the aboriton because this a child it is a soul, on second hand, u r too young to handle a child, ur 19!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ur so young, why do u do this?
and if it wasn't something good, u wouldn't be talking abt it. u know it's not, i dont agree with this...

I am pro-choice... point blank... If you decide to abort your child.. by all means... Personally I would never abort my child.. but that is me... I cannot make life altering decisions for anyone but me.... However if this decision is based on "ruining" some guys life... I think you should really sit down and prioritize and ask yourself serious questions... years from now you will regret aborting your child... if the decision was based on how someone else would feel... or think... How far along are you? btw

High fives Bianca :o)

it doesnt matter no, but tell that to the other people trying to guilt trip her.

"HEY.... dont you guys dare try guilt trip her with abortion is murder junk."

abortion is murder, and nobody is trying to guilt trip her into anything. if she really wants an abortion then she can get it but i think she should keep the baby and give it up for adoption if she doesnt want it. i am against abortion. if you can take the responsibility of having sex, you should be able to take care of what happens after that. sorry if i sound rude but its common sense people.

and leah, i think you SHOULD tell the father. if he wants to keep the baby then you should have it and take care of it together, and if he doesnt, i stand by my decision of adoption at birth.

"i dont understand u girls, why do u get urself into this...in one hand it is really not good to have the aboriton because this a child it is a soul, on second hand, u r too young to handle a child, ur 19!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ur so young, why do u do this?
and if it wasn't something good, u wouldn't be talking abt it. u know it's not, i dont agree with this..."

you can't just blame girls in this post! sex consist of two people (sometimes more) but most of the cases i've seen with my friends is that the only reason they end up having sex is the constant pressure from their boyfriends. so it's partly her fault. a more correct post would be asking why teenagers this young are having sex because they are too young to handle a child at such a young age. even if they are having safe sex it's stupid because clearly it's not 100% safe even if you're using more than one! but it is stupider if you don't use anything.

also you need to tell the father. if he didn't want a baby this young then he should have thoughten about that before you guys had sex but that baby is part of him so he needs to know. it seems like you have already made up your mind that you are not keeping the baby so it's not like he'll have to deal with the baby but it's still his right to know. abortion or adoption... he still needs to know. if your not making him have an obligation in this child's life then i don't see how it will ruin his life. but it may effect his choices of having sex so young agian. he may have some guilt for what's happening to the child. but he still needs to know. i would never have a child and not tell the father.

~Jacklyn

Mine wanted to know if I was. He said he cared so much about this possibly baby. If he cares then tell him. If he does not care then do not tell him. Its up to you

I just have a feeling.. and you can call me stupid or whatever I don't care.. but if you have this baby that he/she's gonna make a big difference in this world and he's going to be very special... I don't know that's just one of my instincts.. I don't say that about everybody.. so really just think before you do it..

And everyone else, I haven't read what everyone has said, but some of you are pretty harsh. Someone needs help, and she had the decency to humble herself and ask for it among total strangers. I don't think calling her stupid or saying what she did was stupid is going to help her or anyone else.

Ladies Ladies
Back to the original post please this is NOT an abortion debate...its about telling the father of the child so lets stick to that topic please and respect the choices and belief's of others although they may not be right for ourselves...
Clean fight ;o)

Yes tell the father, but do not live for the father. If this man does hear this and does not want the child than remember he is not you. You think for you not for him.

he's your ex. if he doesn't want to be with you, abort. if he still wants to be with you, abort, and don't tell him.

honestly i dont agree with abortion...the safest sex is NO sex...and even on the pill and condoms doesnt guarantee a thing...if it was me i would tell him...its his baby too, he should know. and this is why i am waiting til marriage... but hun i say do what you want...dont let other people tell you what to do. its your life and your baby.

Has she ever told us whether she was telling him or not? I really think she should tell him.

awwah im so sorry to hear what you are going through. but i think you should tell you ex he has a right to know. and he may be able to help you!!! good luck hun xx

ok, personally i respect you whether or not you get an abortion. But i think that if you are 'responsible' enough to have sex, you should be responible enough to take care of a baby. well pretty much because when you have sex you know there MAY be a consequense. Not saying that a baby is a bad thing, but some ppl dont want to have a child. 19 is a pretty young age for having a child, but at that age you should have already graduated. And also you are an adult...and truthfully why make the decision on abortion based on your EX. if he isnt in your life, why bother worrying about him. The baby will be with you, and youd raise the baby not him. Another thing to think about that other people have mentioned, a few years down the road, how do you know if you'll regret it, or feel guilt. i for one would definetly. Im not trying to tell you to keep the baby or not, its your decision, but whatever really is best for you. I know its probably stressful..and i dont even know if youalready got the abortion or not......but yea.....

oh and to angelina ??

I respect your opinon and all,
but abortion IS murder.
Once that baby is in the mothers stomach,
He/she is alive and having and abortion would be killing him/her. And murder isnt always physical, you can
poisen someone, trick someone, whatever. murder can be by anything. And a baby is a human being and when you abort the baby, he/she is NOLONGER alive. in that case, it is murder.

^ last paragraph very true.

my thinking:
ABORTION= you'll regrat it!!..
NOT TELLING THE FATHER OF THE BABY= you are rulling your self..

MY THINKING"2:
i think you should tell the baby father..well if he said he's to youung to hav a baby..than why did he hav sex>?...once you have the baby of him..he should be responsible of the baby also..co'z he IS the FATHER of THE BABY!!.........

BOTH of you should take RESPONSIBLITY of it!!

p.s are you really sure the baby is from ur ex--?
co'z you hav no proof..

LAST THINKING:
co'z u wrote : when you guys had sex""""..

he wore a c*****
and yo took a pill...

so..there should't be the baby?..you have no proof of he's the father..?..

but ur insints tells you?..or ur heart/brain?..

wateva!!...

just goody luck on comming decisions and future..hope it'll be bright as a shining star!..

with lot's of love-SECRET

^ sometimes when people take both the pill and use a condom it doesn't always work. Both have defects and don't work 100% of the time.

^ i agree with her... condoms are only safe 99% of the time...

and to the poster above her, i couldnt read anything you said. please be a little clearer, because your post left me feeling confused.

ok, we've had both sides of the abortion argument even though that's NOT what Leah was asking about. Any further posts on abortion will be deleted.

Answer her question about whether or not to tell the father.

Leah, do you have your answer yet?

If so, then we can lock this thread.

Wheres your trusty threadlocker Ann Marie :o)

I'm very sorry that the father feels that way...but you seem like a strong enough person to do this on your own. Bringing another human-being into this world is such an amazing experience...I wish you the best of the best....If you need anyone to talk to or simply just need to vent....

juliealeksanyan@hotmail.com

Well done Leah on making the decision that is right for you. Its a long hard and winding road being a young single mother but remember...God throws us no trials we don't have the strength to endure...your gunna be fine, just stay strong and keep in touch with us all and let us know how your travelling. Feel free to email me personally as well Leah - all the best xoxo

leah... that is so awesome that you couldnt do the abortion. (well to me anyways...)

anyway, im sorry that the father doesnt want anything to do with the baby. my mom had me when she was 18, so i know what its like to have a young mom, and its great. they understand SO much!!! what are you going to name the baby? i guess its kinda early to be thinking about that...

anyway, if you ever need to talk or vent, just PM me... mmkay?

You know there is always giving the baby up for adoption....

Leah I am sooo proud of you. No words can explain how happy I am. That child will surely be blessed. I agree with what Risa said; God won't make you go through anything that you couldn't handle, and everything is according to His will. Feel free to email me anytime, about ANYTHING AT ALL. I'm always here :)

Much Love and God Bless,
Sarah-Joy

Leah, I am a father of three, two of whom I never wanted, but now all three are in their 20's and I'm glad that they all came into the world. I have been involved with several abortions over the years, not a nice thing at the best of times, but I stayed and supported.
I don't agree with all the guilt tripping that was laid upon you... surely there are too many kids brought into the world by reluctant parents who then go on to abuse their children. So what is right, aborting a child from a potentially dangerous situation (not suggesting that applioes to you in any way) or allowing another unwanted child to come into the world.
All the best with the rest of your pregnancy and the birth.
love and light.

You're now my hero.. you're so brave to put up with you do, and I'm very happy for you. Anytime you need me (or someone) I'll be here!

Congrats leah. and trust me you wont regret having your baby =] Good luck with everything!!!