title contest

CLOSED!

please check out the poem though. please rrc it if you have time and dont mind.

this is a little different. i have the poem, and you must title it. have fun thinking of titles. you may submit more than one. this will go on untill i feel like ending it.
please and thank you.

Crippled tears run,
Sharply down her cheeks;
The pain has returned.

Every emotion,
Every scene,
Floods her mind.

His breath
Lingers in the air,
Suffocating her.

Wild and rash,
He raises his arm;
He’s ready.

Words as sour
As his breath,
Strike her.

The bruising begins,
The drops stream;
Battered and broken.

She is everything,
Everything but ready,
To suffer such hurt.

Deeper he ventures,
Beneath her skin;
A worm crawls.

Despite all screams,
All cries for help,
She is stranded.

No one hears her pleas,
He shoves them all aside,
Lust is his life.

Another victim
Torn that night;
Words hard to tell.

To mumble them aches,
To explain them twinges,
To remember them...

Is Hades and below...

The purity,
Of a delicate angel,
Vanished in minutes.

and any critics are welcome.

TITLE AWAY!

mm i like that.

originally, before i got down to the last few lines i thought about titling it jagged memories. what do you all thin?

keep the ideas coming.

Just making a few corrections/suggestions. Hope you don't mind. =/

"She is anything,
Anything but ready,
To suffer such hurt"

^^ Would sound better if it said
"she is everything
everthing but ready,
To suffer such hurt"
___

And

"No hears her please,
He shoves them all aside,
Lust is his life."

^^ I believe you meant: "No one hears"...and "please" should be "pleas".
___

As for the title....I'm not very good at titles...so all I can think of is...

"Stolen Innocence" Or "Stolen Purity".

idk. i'm bad at this. lol

I loved the poem, btw.

thanks for the corrections. and dont worry im not to grand at titling either.

hmmm... i was thinking... "An Angel's Tears"

aww. i like that.

anymore!!!!!

please?

Things She'll Never Tell ??

Title suggestion : Torn

No hears her pleas,
^ I think you forgot to add in "one" after "no"

Torn that night,
Words hard to tell.

Purity of an angel,
Was stolen that night,
^ I don't think you should use "that night" twice like this. It ruins the effect of your words a bit.

Theres something I don't really like about the last line. I think you can do better than that judging by the rest of your poem. Make it finish on a bang. Lovely poem though, it was very good.

Well, there were a few things I thought would be nice titless.

1. Purity Of An Angel

2. Beneath Her Skin

3. Battered and Broken

1.A girl You all Know
2.Hidden Tears
3.Ruined Angel

They are nosense but i tried...

Maybe....

1. Purity's Last Stand

2. Innocence Defeated

3. Destruction of an Angel

Charisma*

Stranded.

the poem has been edited again. let me know what you think of it. thnks for the suggestions and edits. any other titles?

CLOSED!

Payne wins! (Stranded with Hades)

which do you want commented.

oh- and i would appreciate ppl rrcing my poem

thnks