Men and Mascara

--------------------CLOSED--------------------RESULTS AT BOTTOM

Too Damn Young ; By: Teria - I loved the originality of this poem and I especially loved the imagery in the third stanza. This poem is one that I'm sure many young girls can relate to and although it is along the lines of the type of poem I had expected to come out of this title, I still loved it. Great job. :]
SPELLING - 3/3
GRAMMAR - 4/5
CONTENT - 4.5/5
FLOW - 5/5
FOLLOWED RULES - 2/2
TOTAL - 18.5/20

All I Want is You ; By: Nikki - Something about this poem felt a little off to me. It might have been the flow or maybe the content, but something felt off. I think I may have brought this up in another contest of mine that you entered about the potential that your poems hold and they do hold a lot of potential; you just need to take the time to edit them and read through them a few times. :]
SPELLING - 2/3
GRAMMAR - 3.5/5
CONTENT - 3.5/5
FLOW - 4/5
FOLLOWED RULES - 2/2
TOTAL - 15/20

First to Never Know ; By: Josie - I think you really started off strong and then the middle wasn't as strong but it wasn't as noticeable since you had a really strong ending line. You need to put more grammar in your poem so that it is a bit easier to read and it flows better. :]
SPELLING - 2.5/3
GRAMMAR - 3/5
CONTENT - 4/5
FLOW - 4.5/5
FOLLOWED RULES - 2/2
TOTAL - 14/20

That Ain't A Crime [Acrostic] ; By: Britt - I loved this, especially the line noting revenge, :] Lol don't ask me why because I don't know; maybe just goes to the mood that I am in tonight, lol. Anyways, your word choice was awesome in this piece and it was a joy to read. :]
SPELLING - 3/3
GRAMMAR - 5/5
CONTENT - 5/5
FLOW - 5/5
FOLLOWED RULES - 2/2
TOTAL - 20/20

A bridge that's burning ; By: Espoir*failed - Different from what I had expected to come of this title, which is a good thing. I've always loved the imagery and word choice you choose to put into your poem and it doesn't change with this one, good job. :]
SPELLING - 3/3
GRAMMAR - 4.5/5
CONTENT - 4/5
FLOW - 4/5
FOLLOWED RULES - 2/2
TOTAL - 17.5/20

Paint and Pillows ; By: SecludedSerendipity - I loved this, your grammar was perfect and your imagery was awesome. This is also very easy to relate to because it goes along the lines of young love; what I got out of it anyways. Good job, Hun; another great write. :]
SPELLING - 3/3
GRAMMAR - 5/5
CONTENT - 4.5/5
FLOW - 4.5/5
FOLLOWED RULES - 2/2
TOTAL - 19/20

Men and Mascara ; By: DixieDaisy - Can I just say...OH SNAP? Lol. I effing loved this! It was awesome, your rhyming was perfect and the imagery was spot on along with the word choice. I'm speechless, I don't know what to write right now, lol. :]
SPELLING - /3
GRAMMAR - /5
CONTENT - /5
FLOW - /5
FOLLOWED RULES - /2
TOTAL - /20

Smile ; By: Stephen - Aweh, Dear; that was cute! It was sad at the same time, which was good especially seeming how it wasn't an out there sad it was more just a deep-seeded sad. Lol, if that even makes any sense? But yeah, I love the way you went over the thoughts of the narrator and the descriptions you used...it was very well done, indeed. :]
SPELLING - 3/3
GRAMMAR - 4/5
CONTENT - 4.5/5
FLOW - 4.5/5
FOLLOWED RULES - 1/2
TOTAL - 17/20

OOOOOH! Okay you got my other favorite artist.
Men and Mascara please.
Thanks,
Kay

"Paint and Pillows", please.

A bridge that's burning please
thanks
xx

Girl next door please

03. Too Damn Young, please.
Thanks. :]

Too Damn Young.

It doesn't work out how we want it to.
It has never been just me and you.
Forever and always I've lived in a dream.
Of which your soul is all that's seen.

A million reasons for me to leave,
yet none of them I want to believe.
I've searched and searched for what's right,
but somehow I always lose the fight.

A minute 'til 9 and I sit waiting,
while love and hate continue debating.
How long will it be before I can see,
that you're truly not in love with me?

I guess it's hard to understand,
the mentally ill mind of a young man.
Since he's too damn young to fall in love,
It's easy to see he's not the one I'm thinking of.

All i want is you plz, if i may reserve. :)

I hope it is ok. :)

All I want is you
by Nikki

Since the day I met you,
I knew I was in love,
I knew heaven had sent me,
an angel from above,

I always watched you,
I would sit there and stare,
but to talk to you,
I would not dare,

I was so scared,
you were older that me,
I had no idea,
it was me you did see,

for so long,
I wanted to meet,
without you,
I feel incomplete,

you were my night,
in shining armor,
when I met you,
you were such a charmer,

you were the one I fell for,
for so long I kept it hidden away,
all I wanted was you,
just to hear you say,

say you wanted me to,
and say you cared,
living without you now,
I could never bear.

Can I have 'Mama Don't Cry'? Thanks :)

First To Never Know please

Thanks

Josie

First to Never Know

They all said you would leave me
That your love for me wasn't real
But I refused to believe them
They don't know you made me feel

I asked them to quit
Telling all those lies
Knowing they weren't true
When I looked into your eyes

But they carried on
Day after day
Not caring that I didn't believe
A word they would say

And then came the day
That I found out the truth
All this time I thought you were faithful,
You were out with Ruth

I couldn't believe
That you would do this, Joe
I guess you hoped
I'd be the first to never know

Josie

Copyright©JosieWentzel31May2007

Smile

Please and thank you!

A bridge that's burning

I just thought they were fireflies,
But I never really was one for using my eyes,
And over there a bridge is burning,
The one with our footsteps on it.

But don't feel too special,
Because it's only you and only me,
And now they're spreading footsteps on the moon.
I just need you to see,
I'm not going to be here anytime soon.

Smoke rises and ashes fall,
Patients dance as madness dawns.
The tear that lines your eye,
Well, it illuminates the sky.
And I can't see any reason why,
You feel the need to cry.

But you have your reasons
And I'll never know,
Well I stood there waiting,
Waiting for you to show.

But your beauty's a burden,
You just want to climb higher.
But where there's a bridge that's burning,
You want to be the fire...

If only...
I'll stand here and yearn
If only...
I'll watch the bridge that burns

A rule has changed, you can take a maximum of two titles.

Paint and Pillows {Triple Triolet}
by SecludedSerendipity

I'll never forget that moment, forever it will stay in my heart,
19 August, 1995: young and cheerful, you entered my life.
I wonder if anyone knew then, that we'd never be apart,
I'll never forget that moment, forever it will stay in my heart.
I still remember the finger paints, our choice of creative art,
We were filled with so much purity, never overcome with strife.
I'll never forget that moment, forever it will stay in my heart,
19 August, 1995: young and cheerful, you entered my life.

Do you remember the summer; the sunshine of '01?
Lying out on the garden grass, pillows beneath our heads,
I never knew that being with one person could be so much fun.
Do you remember the summer, the sunshine of '01?
Each new day it felt like the fun had only just begun;
We dreaded the night times, when Mama said it was time for bed.
Do you remember the summer, the sunshine of '01?
Lying out on the garden grass, pillows beneath our heads.

Those days of paint and pillows will stay with me every night,
Even though we're growing up, my memories will not dim,
Embedded in my mind; they'll stay there shining bright.
Those days of paint and pillows will stay with me every night;
Through the wintertime of December; the darkness which emits fright.
Everything reminds me of you; children climbing trees, going for a swim,
Those days of paint and pillows will stay with me every night,
Even though we're growing up, my memories will not dim.

`````````````````````````````````````````
A triolet is a poetic form that is eight lines long. Its rhyme scheme is ABaAabAB. The first, fourth and seventh lines are identical, as are the second and final lines, thereby making the initial and final couplets identical as well.
`````````````````````````````````````````

Men and Mascara

Men and Mascara is all she needs
Fulfilling a promise of dirty deeds
Around the pole she swings her leg
Sultry looks that cause them to beg

Bottle blonde tresses cover her breast
Imagination and fantasy cover the rest
Smoke, alcohol and cheap perfume
The only smells that fill the room

Tossing their money in a night of fun
They crowd the stage until she is done
Dignity for dollars and a raunchy stage name
Is all she has for fifteen minutes of fame

Dixie

Alrighty, due date is now extended to this Friday. PM's are going out to those with reserves. It will not be extended again, please get your poems in.

Smile

In the midst of a new day
I hide myself away.
"Going home"
I promise myself.

I smile.

Fear travels through my veins,
wondering how they will react.
Their faces... Oh, How should I Hug them?
It's been such a long time!

I walk to the home where I ran away from,
and I try to remember the face of my mom.
It was soft -- yet, Resolute...
Oh, it was a mistake leaving you...

As I near the house that once was mine,
I worry how they will react...
They searched for months and kept on searching...
Will they hate me now, for leaving?

As much as I fear it, I still am in doubt...
I'll always be loved, I am their only son.
And I walk up the driveway, battered one year
and I walk up the steps to the door...

I ring the bell then hide my face,
and feel the breath of Opening.
I try to make it a surprise,
but I am not well in disguise.

My mother sees me instantly
and she begins to scream.
Throwing the screen door behind her
and hugging, tightly, me.

She says some words,
Choked up with tears...
Some words I couldn't care to hear.
I have no words to respond with
but, instead, I start smiling.
I look in her eyes,
making sure that I smile
and tell her "I love you,
though it's been a while...
Please do not hate me
I know you care for me...
I just want to go back to the way it once was..."
She looks in my eyes
and puts on a bright smile,
And through all her tears
she says, "You are my child,
you always will be.
The fact that you left
never could have changed that.
Now let's get you cleaned up,
And I made your room neat..."
So I return the smile
as I step through the door;
and it feels good to be with my family once more.

I smile.

Eh... the beginning is sketchy but the ending is better. I wrote it at two in the morning so I understand if I don't come close to winning =]

Ahh! I can't count...

Lol, it's okay Hun, won't effect the placings, just the scoring and it will only be -1 from 20, haha.

:]
<3

(*sigh*) Thanks dear, I look forward to my -1 because that's what my math teacher would love to have given me for a grade! But i PASSED! yay!

Good luck judging.

Can't do it

Too many things going on with my grandpa in the hospital

Sorry dear =/

MD

Tis okay Hun,
hope he gets better!

This is now closed.
Judging will take place shortly.
:]

This was a VERY hard contest to judge, there were many good poems entered...but, here are the results...

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First: DixieDaisy - Men and Mascara
Second: Smile - Stephen
Third: Britt - That Ain't a Crime
HM: Teria - Too Damn Young
HM: SecludedSerendipity - Paint and Pillows

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

First: 8 r/r/c
Second: 6 r/r/c
Third: 4 r/r/c
HM's: 2 r/r/c
All others: 1 r/r/c

Leave the titles that you would like done.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

01. Daisy

- Walk On
- Liberty Cries
- PMS
- Dirty Little Secret
- Poetic Quittance
- Ode To the Pine Tree
- Color Blind
- The Heritage of Dixie

02. Stephen

-
-
-
-
-
-

03. Britt

- Any
- Any
- Any
- Any

HM. Teria

-
-

HM. Secluded

- Any
- Any

Thank you muchly for the HM. :] Could you please just do any two that catch your eye?

Thanks, and congrats to everyone else!

Thank You so much

Congrats everyone

Walk On
http://www.poems-and-quotes.com/life/poems.php?id=848842

Liberty Cries
http://www.poems-and-quotes.com/life/poems.php?id=871171

PMS
http://www.poems-and-quotes.com/slang/poems.php?id=861007

Dirty Little Secret
http://www.poems-and-quotes.com/sad/poems.php?id=856790

Poetic Quittance
http://www.poems-and-quotes.com/misc/poems.php?id=895263

Ode to the Pine Tree
http://www.poems-and-quotes.com/nature/poems.php?id=792212

Color Blind
http://www.poems-and-quotes.com/slang/poems.php?id=908373

The Heritage of Dixie
http://www.poems-and-quotes.com/special/poems.php?id=779858

Aww! Yay! I got second!

You don't have to do any of my poems dear =]
I don't really care. I'll just do some of yours while I'm on.... (Okay, okay, I'm just too lazy to gather the titles lol!)