Make Me Think [[Titled Contest]]

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Hey everyone,

Well I want to try this contest thing. So my first ever contest! : )
Titles are based on loads of different things ranging from looking around at the things around me to current events in the news.

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Ok well rules;

- Must Reserve
- One poem person
- 2 people per title (if you want to do one that's full send me a PM)
- No explicit poems please
- Use punctuation, I don't mind the use of enjambment but at least a little bit of punctuation.
- Spelling and structure are important.
- You can write the poem in any style you like, it does not matter if you rhyme or not.
- I like poems which make me think, So make me think!
- HAVE FUN!!

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Titles

Fire and Smoke
- Lush.Fcuk-* - Reserved
- Auspicious76 -[DONE]

Teardrop Eye
- Wings Of Flames - [DONE]
-

Living in a Battlefield
- Happiness Is Just A Gash Away - [DONE]
- Oscar - Reserved

Diamond Incrusted
- Alexis Harold - [DONE]
-

Eliminate My Soul/Heart (decide which one to use)
- Raveena - [DONE]
-

Washed Up
- Beautifully Nothing - [DONE]
-

Thrill and Temptation
-
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Desperate Desire
- EndOfTheBeginning -[DONE]
- xA Little Bit Dramaticx - [DONE]

Scent of Evil
- Hellon [DONE]
-

Provoke Me
- Carrie - [DONE]
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Prizes

First Prize = 6 honest comments
Second Prize = 5 honest comments
Third prize = 4 honest comments

If these winners impress me they might get a place on my favourites.

Everyone's entrance poems will be commented on.

Starting from; Today, 23rd June
Ending, Saturday 14th July

Thanks you and remember to have fun! : )

I would like to do "Provoke Me" please

Living in a battlefield please

Fire and Smoke, please.
:]

Provoke Me

Picking at the scab,
To leave behind a scar,
In hopes I never forget,
The kind of guy you are.

Be careful with my heart,
My mother always said,
Don't give it all away,
You must think with your head.

You fooled me from the jump,
For you were not my prince,
You took what you could get,
I haven't seen you since.

You provoked me into loving you,
With sugar coated lies,
None have tasted sweeter,
Or made me quite as wise.

I held on to my soul,
Though my being filled with pain,
I know this too shall pass,
Though thoughts of you remain.

Tear drop eye plz

Ok people anyone else in?
Im liking the poems so far. :)

I would like to give "Washed Up" a shot, please and thank you

Washed Up

Dance upon a sea shore;
Lost soul drowns.
She has made it out alive
When no one was around.

She fought the wicked sea;
Through the waves she was tossed.
She has made it out alive;
Though much blood she has lost.

She smiles without exhaustion;
She dances without a cause.
She has made it out alive
Because that's not who she really was.

She fought the good fight.
For a moment she gave in.
She has made it out alive
Because her life had to begin.

Dance upon a sea shore;
She has made it out alive.
Her lost soul all washed up.
She did it...she survived

Just to let you know, i was retarded and i changed my name. so now Psyche Ward Chick is Beautifully Nothing ^_^" sorry, i was being stupid

Lol ill edit it.
I just changed my name as well..
Thanks for entering! :)
x

2 weeks left.
Anyone else?

Thats fine as long as its before the 14th. :)

Tear Drop EYe

The sky crosses blood,
The earth dry as dust,
Hate filled hearts live,
While love turns to lust,

Clouds hang in despair,
As acid falls to ache,
The brave scared of dying,
And tears never fake,

Pity falls from angels,
And perished are we all,
Gold turns to rust,
And the running beg to crawl,

Blades of grass are bitter,
And thinned of all so pure,
Blackened by the flames,
While searching for the cure,

The life lifted from us,
As Ice cuts the skin,
Brutal are these words,
As our sanity turns thin,

Bush called for the bomb,
And we ordered it to send,
The scar we have given,
Was our own that won't mend.

Ok people, anyone else in?

Fire and Smoke please :-D Thanks! Gotta go write now... c-u

------DONE------ Yeah!

Fire and Smoke

T'was the thrill and temptation that provoked me-
drove me- choked me like the scent of evil
with a desperate desire to enlist.
Now, living in a battlefield with diamond encrusted heart,
washed up- beat up- left adrift
with tear-dropped eyes-
I try to wring fire and smoke from pen to paper;
an ode to eliminate my soul of these
pondered words and feelings.
But the words posted, finally spoken, leave temptation filled,
and provoked desire to be the best
fades like fire to smoke.

USED:
Fire and Smoke
Teardrop eye (tear-dropped eyes)
Living in a Battlefield
Diamond Encrusted
Eliminate My Soul
Washed Up
Thrill and Temptation
Desperate Desire
Scent of Evil
Provoke Me (provoked me)

G.D.F 07-05-07

Hey everyone,
Ok the contest has now officially been updated.
Sorry it wasnt earlier, ive been going through something so ive been kinda out of it i guess.

Anyways for any new entrants there is a week left, and still 9 spots open.

If those who have reserved but havnt submitted this poem i will send them a PM on the 12th asking them. If its not in by the 14th they will be disquaified.

Really enjoying the poems so far.

x

4 days left people.
Any other entrants?

x

That fine by me. :)

As long as its in before the 14th.

x

Hi all! I'd like to ask when we will know the results????

Hey everyone,
Ok i owe you all an apology.
Last Wednesday my computer died on me and this is the reasen i havnt been coming online. Its why i hvant officially closed it or done any judging.

Now if you live in the UK you might know that the summer holidays are starting. Tomorow is the last day for me in school. So on Saturday i have to go to London for the weekend. So i'll probably start writing my comments about each poem subbmitted today, and tomorow. The comments will be saved on my computer - i will add then top each of your poems and post my comments on hear when i have judged the ocntest.
I am hoping this will be Monday but it may end up being Tuesday.

I am going to send a PM to those members who have reserved but not completed their poems now. If they have the poem subbmitted before i chose the winners then the poem will also be taken into considersation (though the fact it is late will also be considered).

Again my apologies - i was hoping for this ocntest winners to be posted up before i went to London. But... Anyways im sorry.

Thank you.

x

^^
Its a she..

And i am really truly sorry...

Ive been ill... really not in the mood for commenting or anything as you can imagine...

Ok lets see... i should hopefully have the results posted by Saturday. Again i am really sorry.

These results should be up hear by tonight hopefully. Around 11PM UK time.
The prize commenting will be done from Monday onwards, as we have guests at my house at the moment so i cant come on the computer that much.

Sorry for the bother.
x

Living in a Battlefield - Happiness Is Just A Gash Away

I liked how you portrayed emotional abuse in this piece of writing. And I like this entire idea you got out of the title. Your words refer back to this title and it does work well with this poem. The way you kind of put the reader into the mind of the young child works. Like you said "mummy and daddy" this really shows the innocence of the child. You also kind of have this glimpse in her life before, and how the drinking has affected the parents as well as the relationship with the young child. You show what the affects of alcohol could have, and how this can lead to emotional abuse. A subject that did make me think and this was the point of my contest. You talked about issues that do affect the world. The thing that I didn't like about this poem was that the flow was sketchy at times. The structure wasn't great and could of used with improvement. You vocabulary didn't exactly in engage me. But a good read. It could use some improvement but overall a good job. Thanks for participating.

Scent of Evil - Hellon

Strech = Stretch

I enjoyed this poem as it had this darkness feeling all over it. You used senses and then kind of expanded on these senses. A very nice and interesting way of writing, it really did engage me in. The vocabulary was good, and the structure worked really well. The repetition of "It lurks...it waits..." works well as it extends what you're saying. It helps this darkness your poem portrays. Your rhyme scheme gave this poem a really good flow. The punctuation scheme was quite strict, but worked. The poem made me feel as though I am actually in this dark place. I really enjoyed this bit about the poem. Simple structure, not too many words used. But the poem overall works really well. Just watch out on spelling errors next time. Thanks for participating.

Provoke Me - Carrie

I love the introduction to this poem. You submitted this into the sad category so I felt the poem from the first was about self harm. But when reading on I saw that the poem was not on that. That had a really nice refreshing feel to it. The poem itself has a good rhyme scheme going on and it helps give it a nice flow. The first stanza you kind of introduced the poem without going into much detail. Then you go on to expand on what you said. You also don't directly say what he did, yet you hint at it so it is obvious. The reader does know what you meant in this poem. The fourth stanza is my personal favourite; you make it so you're describing sweets. And this gives it this really brilliant imagery, and I really love how you have done that. The ending is emotional and concludes the poem nicely. To improve your writing I suggest you expand on your punctuation. It seems a little limited, and it�s quite a strict pattern. Using enjambment and punctuation where you want it can make the reader read the poem as you want it to be read. Thank you for participating in my contest.

Desperate Desire - xA Little Bit Dramaticx

You started the poem off instantly with a question. This is a good start as it engages the reader. "Bed of lies" also makes the reader wonder what you are talking about. The words you use in your poem really make the reader wonder what you mean. I like how you describe how an action makes you feel (like safe and cold). The fourth line of your poem actually reminds me of poems written in the 19th century or so. Then you go on, well id call it mildly explicit. But you're talking about love and this gives it this unique feel to it. The questions interest the reader. But I found your flow wasn't really engaging as it was quite sketchy at some parts. You punctuation is quite limited. The structure could use some improvement. Overall it was an ok poem. Thanks for participating.

Washed Up - Beautifully Nothing

I personally can kind of see a hidden meaning inside of this poem. And I love it. I wanted you to make me think and this poem did just that. The first stanza was an introduction to the poem and was quite interesting; you've got this unreal feel all over this poem. The entire poem I had a sense of the ocean being behind me. You really made the reader feel as though they were a part of the poem. I love this battle feeling you've got to the poem. You use words of war, and make the ocean sound so evil. The repetition of "She has made it out alive" really extents the point you make in this piece. The poem has a good flow and a good structure. The hidden meaning I found within your words, was like they is no ocean but it's a sort of inner battle the girl is facing. Your words really grab the interest of the reader and hold it. The ending you have this sort of relieved and proud feeling. Thanks for participating.

Tear Drop Eye - Wings Of Flames

The introduction to this piece is really good. I mean the first line makes the reader interested in the poem as they wonder what the poem is actually about. You haven't exactly given what the poem is about away from the introductory stanza. You have a strong rhyme scheme going on and it helps the poem's flow. You have this really dark and creepy feeling throughout the poem. It's really chilling. Again this one has some sort of hidden meaning which can be taken in numerous ways. The poem did make me think and your words created this strong image in my head. You've got this sort of comparison - good turning to bad. Your description is clear creating vivid imagery. The ending was quite clear, you made your point and it worked brilliantly. I disliked your use of punctuation though, next time try making it more varied?
Thanks for participating.

Desperate Desire (triquatrain) - EndOfTheBeginning

Formed poetry usually has a brilliant flow and you haven't failed to disappoint. The poem as a whole is quite sweet, the flow is good and you haven't made any spelling errors. The poem title works with the poem and they have a strong connection. The poem has a story told so I guess it's a narrative piece. These poems are usually very clear in the way they are written and what they mean and stuff. Yours again was quite clear in this way. The poems subject is something which loads of people can relate to in their own way. Writing about this will have people interested in it as they see themselves in your position. So you've sort of included the reader in your poem. Strong method if you know how to do it. Your punctuation was not really varied and this was a disadvantage for me. Try putting punctuation in where when you read the poem aloud you think it should go. So then the reader can read the poem the way you wanted it to be read originally. Thanks for participating.

Fire and Smoke - Auspicious76

Ah you used every single one of my titles in this poem. Something I never asked you to do but none the less it worked well with the poem. I like this part of the beginning of your poem, "provoked me-drove me- choked me". This part I felt really stood out and made me more interested in reading what you had to say. Then I enjoyed how you go to talk about the pen to the paper. It did make me think, what are you talking about? It really drew me into the poem. Then the end, how you talk about this passion fading well I really quite enjoyed it because I can really relate to it. I think all the writers out their can. Now the flow was quite sketchy, and the structure was quite messy at timess. I liked your use of punctuation though. Thanks for participating.

Diamond Incrusted - Alexis Harold

A sweet read. Its always nice to be told you�re a diamond lol. Anyways the flow of this poem seems to work and creates this steady sort of rhythm. Almost like a song. You have very good usage of punctuation in this read which is quite enjoyable. The entire piece has this feeling of cheerfulness about it, it's a positive poem. I love the positive vibe about the poem which is why I also think you could expand it to make quite good lyrics. The poem also seems to have this perfect and they lived happily ever after ending. It seems like a dream to me personally but its nice. It is really nice and sweet poem overall. You didn't have an exact rhyme scheme but it did work well. A good read, keep writing. Thanks for participating.

Eliminate My Heart & Soul - Raveena

I like this. You've got this strict rhyme pattern in both of the stanzas and the rhymes work and don't seem forced. The rhymes also help give the poem a really good flow. The repetition of "For this, boy, you might as well eliminate my ..........." at the end of each stanza works well and really does extend the point you are trying to make. Your description is vivid and makes clear imagery inside of my head. The vocabulary was really great. You can really tell what you're trying to say to the boy, the emotion is quite clear and it works really well. Love poems are usually not my thing to read and stuff but this one was quite an exception. The poem is something many people can relate to and this will draw in many readers. Disadvantage to this was again your punctuation scheme. I mean it seems like you used enjambment all the way through it. Punctuation can help the reader, read the poem the way you want it to be read. It's a good tool. Thanks for participating.

The winners were realy hard to chose. They were all really good poems. But reading them and re reading them and re reading them and so on. Well i thought these are the poems which best deserved a prize. Again my deepest apologies for the delay. Below are the prizes.

First Prize.

6 honest comments on whichevery poems they like. The poem is going to be added to my favourites.

Secound Prize

5 honest comments.

Third Prize

4 honest comments

Honourable Mention

3 honest comments.

[If reading your poems i am impressed you iwll get a place on my favourites].

The winners are;

First Prize;

Washed Up - Beautifully Nothing [[All Done]]

Secound Prize;

Tear Drop Eye - Wings Of Flames

Latest 5 poems..

Third Prize;

Eliminate My Heart & Soul - Raveena

1. Caught in a Moment
2. So What
3. Life Without You
4. The Tears Behind the Laugh

Honourable Mention - Living in a Battlefield - Happiness Is Just A Gash Away

1.
2.
3.

CONGRATULATIONS to all of the winners. They were all brilliant poems and i wihs i oculd make you all the winners. Keep trying everyone who entered. They were all really good poems. Thank you all for participating.

Ok the people who havnt got a comment on their poem, well its because i cant find it on your account. So if you would give me a link to the poem on your account then i will gladly comment on the poem officially.

Wow, i'm really glad you liked my poem and thanks for the first place! that really just made my day ^_^" if you could comment on the following:

1.) You've been replaced
2.) Sarah
3.) Today
4.) Ana
5.) One More Time
6.) A calling from the inside

i hope you like them, and i trust when you say you will leave honest comments, so if you feel i should change something to improve it...i will definately look into it! :D thanks so much

Lol, glad you know how to spell it.
I did like your poem, and judging was quite hard... Lol.

Anyways i forgot to mention please dont leve explicit poems for me to do... theyre not my thing.
Ill start commenting tomorow hopefully.

x

My first 5 on my latest plz!!!!!!!!
YAY!!!!!