A date with lots of hot air... ballooning

Well, not being one of those traditionalists that waits for a man to make the move first, I grabbed BI by the long locks and hauled him down to the local supermarket... I had wanted to go hot air ballooning for quite some time so decided I was going to be as prepared as possible... I was looking for something for BI... that one something he would remember for the rest of his days, that one special thing that showed him I cared... I found the pampers in the baby aisle and explained how if he hated heights this would seriously save the day - put it this way... the "out" toilet on the balloon meant one crap day for someone on the ground...

Things started really well. We seriously didn't think we'd manage to miss the balloon by 6 hours when we started with a drink for breakfast and I tried some of BI's "cigarette" but we were assured we could go on the next one... The Sundowner...

Sorry to interrupt...

Just wanted to say that it is full of hot hair...

But you know what you two make a great pair...Mo's summarizing while BlankIllusion just writes random quips.

You two make a great opposite pair.

Nori - why do you feel the need to interrupt my date... I have a hang over, Im about to get into a hot air balloon with flatulence (never a good idea) and you're doing the try-hard American spelling bee in my face?

Go find your little leprechaun somewhere else - he's not in this room!

Lol...

Eww...On the flatulence..But yay on the interrupting...

But I guess I can kindof understand why your sad, you have to smell hot air all day...

Anyhoo, I'm off of here.

I get up rubbing my head and get a panadol from the cupboard and swallow it down with some Jacks. There's a strange putty like object on the floor... about the size of a small finger of a child... Hmm... Nori must have dropped it on the way out? I toss it in the bin - it will probably get more action in there than with Nori anyway.

I poke BI with the pool net... even shoving it continuously in his face doesn't seem to wake him up... so I throw a brick at him and two minutes later we're walking to the hot air balloon pad. I've only farted once but it was enough to burn any hairs off my bum and Im glad as my lack of spare time lately meant no waxing for the better half of this year - and if I happen to get lucky later on Im sure BI would be grateful.

We spot Nori off in the distance somewhere talking to himself and then arguing with himself over something. He keeps repeating that he's lost "his precious" and how could he be so careless. Poor thing.

After giving Mo the best time of her life and the worst time in mine, satisfying a woman who wieghs 200 pounds. I woke up with a huge headache, realizing that I just drank an alcoholic drink for the first time, but who wouldn't after looking at Mo's face. But hey I was pretty much giving a pity action.

Anyways...My Lion and I slowly went away from the dank ugly apartment that Mo calls home. Leo left a parting gift to which while looking at the sides to make sure I punished him. I slowly petted him and said "Good Boy"...

I quickly ran upon hearing Mo's moans of contentment. To which I whispered "Poor Girl she'll never get any for the next few years"...

Goodbye....

HAHAHAHAA! I seriously cant stop myself laughing. It appears BI had found Nori's rolled up flap jack in the bin and thought to try to use it as a willy warmer... just as well otherwise I would have seen the one eyed taco-filler in person (so to speak).

Floating high above the ground, we realise we can see an injured animal on the ground... it seems to be trying to crawl, half dragging itself along the ground at a decent pace. Each way we go it seems to be there. Ever present. Ever limping along on all fours... then we hear his ear piercing howl... its grasping desperately at the air above its head, it seems he's looking straight at us... he hisses loudly "my preciousssss! MY PRECIOUSSSSS!" and we realise Nori still hasn't gone on his date yet.

We decide to set the balloon down somewhere near the beach. Its chili but not cold and we walk with no shoes on through the small crashing waves. BI has a black eye from the brick, but he's still being a perfect gentleman. As we watch the sun go down, we see a large decrepit ship sailing ever closer... it has a fair maiden on the deck... the closer it gets the more detail of the woman we can see... quite strange that... never seen a one breasted sailor before...

*Excuse me for a second BI ... I just have some bitch slapping to do*

Umm... Abby my Australian-tard friend... I never said it was YOU! If you stopping looking at your puffed up one breast so much, you might actually see that there are plenty of other lovely one-breasted pirates in this world...

I dont have any more...we used them all throwing solid farts at Nori while he was following us...

Well - I have something to tell you about Jane too... Dont take this too hard but... well... she actually DOESNT have three breasts... its more like two breasts but three nipples... I hope you're not disappointed - she's still a lovely girl. And its not always about how many breasts you have, but about how far you can put them up under your chin that counts. Right?

BYE!

(PPFFFT... oh my gawd - didn't see THAT one coming!)

I wake up to the horselike sound of a male weeing in the wilderness. Its getting cold and I have a thumper of a headache. Its pitch black and there is a fire... thats strange... I dont recall lighting a fire - and you can be sure as hell I'd never let anyone else take that job over me... Im the fire QUEEN!

I look next to the fire and there, with candles perfectly positioned around a ... what the?? There is a lifesize sand sculpture ... its in the image of Kevin... A tear rolls down my cheek... I feel used... I feel so dirty! (I realise its because Im sitting too close to where BI is weeing and quickly go wash myself off in the ocean).

You just crossed the line guys, yeah the line in the sands of the beach of my mind.

I'm going to starting interjecting all over everyone elses dates if my first date don't get her ass in gear soon....

And I promise you all, it will not be pretty.

*clears throat*... Umm... EXCUSE ME? I CROSSED THE LINE? ME? Oh my god - dont even START with me Kevin! (I think we can work this plot into our date later on huh! How I find out that my first date was secretly your ex-lover who is now your full time stalker?)...

Ok - what part was over the line?

Where IS your date?

Dont cry Kevin - if you stick around long enough in here you can get some comfort... Thats right! BI will be finished weeing soon...

PS - our date better be better than this one was...

Ahhh... Sammi you came to save me from my horrible date! What a good wing man you make!

Riding through the endless air. "Such a beautiful view" I repeat . The sunlight trickles off her face portraying such beauty. "You're beautiful MO" She begins to laugh hysterically. I'm believing she is flattered, but then I realize she's laughing at me, I look down and I have no pants on, "What the Hell?

^ Why are you so funny?!?! Can't you see what I'm trying to tell you? I LOVE YOU!

Don't bother. The love was momentary.

Conserve? Ha!

Umm... it seems everyone involved in these dates are whores and man-whores! Everyone is involved in everyone else's date! I've just been carried off by Kevin (like a soap on a rope) to go sit with him in a strip club, Jane's been replaced by a cabin-boy Billy on her cruise, BI is cracking onto Jane in my date room... It seems the only ones properly matched were Sherry and Bob!

Kevin - we'd better get to Washington pretty soon - Im seriously finding it hard to hold onto a rope at 300mph and type these messages at the same time.

I cannot wait for you guys to publish a romance novel
Mo's second post should be on the cover

Sherry, your date with Bob isn't boring at all...I think it's rather enviable. How romantic ;) In a bloody murder sort of way.