Some things to think about. . . .

In winter, why do we try to keep the house as warm as it was in summer when we complained about the heat?

Why do old men wear their pants higher than younger men?

If diamonds are a girl's best friend and a dog is man's best friend, who really is the dumber sex?

How come we never hear any father-in-law jokes?
Do Chinese people get hungry an hour after they eat American food?

if you know any of these things please add i would love to read them

I got more, but they are warning signs and things

From the bottom plate of a lap top:
DANGEROUS! DON’T SCREW OFF!

Sign at a beach:
The shark prevention net was dismantled for maintenance on 1 November 2004. We apologize for any inconvenience caused.

TRAFFIC SIGNS:
Cars will not have intercourse in this bridge!
To cross street push button at night.
BEWARE OF ONCOMING CARES

Toilet Plunger
Caution: Do not use near power lines.

Windex
Do not spray in eyes.

Baby Oil
Keep out of reach of children

Little Ones Baby Lotion
Keep away from children

Hair Coloring
Do not use as an ice cream topping.

Wet-Nap
Directions: Tear open packet and use.

Dial Soap
Directions: Use like regular soap.

Arm & Hammer Scoopable Cat Litter
Safe to use around pets.

Old Spice Red Zone Deoderant
Use only on underarms.

Zantac 75
Do not take if allergic to zantac.

Sleeping Pills
Warning: May cause Drowsiness

Christmas Lights
Warning: For indoor or outdoor use only.

Bic Lighter
Ignite lighter away from face.

ILLITERATE?
Write for free help.

Touching wires causes instant death.
$200 fine

DANGER!
High Voltage!
If you can convince that drunk guy over there to pee on this fence, you are in for some serious laughs.

HAHAHAHAHHA.
i love this, you guys.
i don't know any though.
so.
yeah.

If nobody buys a ticket to a movie do they still show it?

Why is the show called unsolved mysteries? if they were solved they wouldn't be mysteries.

If a Jewish person goes to court and is asked to put their right hand on the Bible, do they use a Torah instead?

What shape is the sky?

What color is the number 7?

What color is a mirror =0

Why is abbreviation such a long word?

Why do they say use i before e except after c and then spell society and science against it?

If it says, "Worlds best dog food," who exactly tastes it?

Which is more important, the butter or the bread?

Yes, these are mine.

What happens if you're scared half to death twice?

U die of heart failure?LOL

The warning on the bottle of oven cleaner at my work: Do Not Drink.

The sign next to the cemetary: Thanks for visiting, Please come again soon.

Sign a few feet into a grass field

*do not go on grass**

Why does adverts say this water went through the alps for hundreds of years..blah blah blah.

but the bottle has a use by date??