I WILL MISS HIM

I cried out but heard no noise.. I stabbed myself but felt no pain.. I breathed in but suffocated.. they used to scream at me.. torment me.. tried to destroy me.. and finally had victory. As I used to sit in the dark, with a pen in my hand, writing everything I could think of.. I kept pictures and notes in a big black file. I used to sit thinking of a plan.. as I was there wondering.. as I used to lay down in the dark, dead as can be...
I was created by mistake.
I was nothing more than a defect. and don't you dare to contradict me!!

Everything started as a joke, but my creator believed I was more than that..
I tried taking control her body few times without warning
Which got her angry.. and I respect her decision..
I didn't argued when she punished me.
I helped her.. just like she did when she gave me life.
She believed in me when no one else did.
We were 2 in 1, we used to share everything..
I knew her thoughts, I could read her mind, I could stop her of doing everything if I just felt like wanting to..
but I never did.. I loved her too much to hurt her..
Sometimes I used to be loud...
I could drive you crazy if I wanted to
I could make you guilty for the wrong acts you make.
I could make you feel the pain you caused in others.
I was usually the one who ruined the fun stuff
Not the right person to hang out with
I mostly hated everyone.
People weren't that surprised when I showed attitude.
I never needed friends.
My creator was enough.
Some people used to think I was bipolar.
I loved to argue.
I wasn't an illusion, remember.
I was a state of mind.
I was real.
I was like the curious noise you hear at night.
I was like the shadow tormenting you on nightmares.
I was the enemy you wished you never have.
I used to be social sometimes...
some people used to call me "insane.."
I used to give everyone a warning first. Recommending not to bother any of us. If they said something, they would pay for it. Of course, only if she asked me to.
Me and her were one black soul...
We were 2, she was the creator, I was the personality.
We were 2, she was the love, I was the hate.
We were 2 sharing one body...
I lived on her world.
My life was her world
I used to jump from thought through thought
Correcting all her fears
Keeping her away from death
She was the cure to my disease
She was the blood, I was the vampire
I wanted to stick to her forever. it used to bother me when she had that stupid little creepy thought of pushing me away from her, of letting me go.
I thought she would never leave me alone!
But oh, dear, there was the guy of her dreams.
That one kid that showed her how much care and love felt for her.
He felt enough strong to destroy me.
I only wanted her, I wanted to have someone.
But he came into her life...snatching everything I was working on!
The love she feels for him was enough to push me away.
She made me leave.
She killed part of her body, mind, thoughts, of her soul!
It was me.
She made me go... and won't let me come back.
After all, I was a piece of crap.. she thought i was hindering her love for him with my advices.
Isn't it pathetic.
Well, I love her and always will.
But remember Alex, I'll be always here..
Walking through the dark hallway
Want me back? you know where I'll be..
I wanted to continue living.. it was getting fun for me..

*** so.. people.. this might sound weird..i don't remember writing this... but.. my personality(that now is gone) wrote that before I made him leave.. he actually became more than something on my mind.. my boyfriend never liked him.. i loved Walter(personality) too.. but my love for Steve(bf) was stronger enough than that thing i made grow up inside me...