Oh. My. Gosh.

It seemed like you were talking to ME. I'm like on the verge of breaking down. Seriously. I try to ignore the thoughts that run through my mind. I really do, but this brought them flooding back. You really do have to except that you're alive before you can go on to anything else in your life, and I think I skipped that step, because I have yet to accept it. I really like the part where you were talking about blaming God. So many people want to blame him, but what you said was completely true. He gave everyone what they needed to be a great person, but you have to [choose] to be a great person. You shouldn't blame him, because it's not his fault.

Even though this wasn't a poem, I enjoyed reading it so very much. If this is rusty... well.. I can't wait to see what you write when you've got back into the swing of things.

A-fu.cking-mazing prose!

Keep writing!
Cayce

Wow.
I couldn't even really tell that you had been having writer's block lately. Actually, if you hadn't said that I wouldn't even have thought it. This was amazing.
It was just so weird how this poem seemed to connect with my thoughts, I feel like this alot of the time but I'm not to good at putting it into words. I loved the way that even though you just used prose, it flowed gorgeously, and it's as if you're speaking to the reader, it doesn't sound forced at all, just completely smooth and natural.
5/5
Thanks so much for writing that.
~gabriella

It's not one of my favorite writes by you, to be honest, but not to be classified as meaning this is the worse, because it isn't by far the worse I have read on this site, it just isn't the best, close to it, but not. It's got an okay feel to it: You use blunt honesty, "They didn't bother to say goodbye; no, they took you to the doctors and the doctor cut you out of their life." mixed with, "It hurts to believe you're nothing to them anymore; not even a verb or a noun. " Everybody faces a hit, a harsh slap across the face, in their lifetime, some fall like I have been lately and it's only when that slap comes that we sometimes gather the courage to make a quick change. It's those that fail to realize this at the first hints that gather this info a bit too late. You also have given the reader a unique description such as, "Sadness only embeds itself into two places; a person's eyes and heart. " mixed with, "It wasn't your fault you're now the blister to their heel." I don't think it has enough depth to it to sustain it's message, and I think those who do not read carefully would never have it stick to their minds until that slap hits them. I'm not saying you failed to get the message across, just that you could have pushed that message deeper into the reader's minds with this narrative. You have the talent, I've seen that, and you have a unique refreshing read to it. So, in all, I am making this the first thing that I have ever nominated. Why? Because even though I know you can do better, I want the message to be heard that if we do not change ourselves, look what we would be come: Not a noun or a verb. Nothing but something scraped off the bottom of a shoe and tossed in a bin.

Exhaling dirty oxygen, but then re-inhaling it?
- ohhhh i love it. an amazing syaing, great adjective with the dirty
..................................................
'When someone writes you out of their life
they won't write you back in.'
- i like the pharse and i like the repetition of it
...................................................
'Speaking of God, you can blame him all you want. But the thing is, He gave you millions of ingredients to mix together and make yourself what you wanted to be; He gave you that choice.'
- thats powerful. its very truw we all have a choice.
...................................................

lets cut to the chase.
that was bloody amazing.
i can't remember the last time i read something that made me go woah, (out loud) thats bloomin talent.

i'm amazed at the wording and the vocabulary.
i'm gonna check out somemoore now :]

Wow...
This is truly profound, excellently written from the beginning to the end. The beginning instantly caught my attention and you continued to amaze me through this great piece.
I like the whole concept, the topic and message of this write. You expressed your feelings in a good way, with highlighted sincerity and very deep sentences.
- When someone writes you out of your life
you can't write them back in.-
^^
I really, really like this.

There are too many amazing parts within piece, so I won't copy/paste favorite sentences, but I have to point out that I really don't think that you're rusty. This was truly great in so many ways.
At first I thought that you should end this with "When someone writes you out..." line, but your ending line is truly priceless as conclusion to the piece.
You definitely have a way with words.

Keep up!
5/5 from me

This poem brought a tear from my eyes. is realy touched my heart... great poem. infact this is the poem of the day.

Wow, it is very enjoyable read and I really love your word picking. Brilliantly written and nicely flowed. Everything is perfect. I nominated this one tro the contese. Hope you'll be lucky!!! 5/5 without doubts!!!

Eh, It's an okay piece. Surely not you're best, but it has been awhile. Honestly, I think you did pretty good if you include it being so long since you wrote last.

It seemed as if there was a lack of emotion, and from the first few lines, to the " walking isn't the first step, crawling is" kinda threw me off; a bad transition. It just could have went together better. Other than that, the transitions were great, a few flow problems - but I think that had more to do with the lack of emotion, from my perspective.

The ending, you really nailed it. Amazing job, darling. I was EXTREMELY impressed with it, and it almost caught me off guard. And, if I want to get real technical about the poem, the beginning had more lack of emotion/flow problems than the middle and end. The more I read the more I liked it. But, no matter how great the ending was, the beginning stuck in my head more than the rest.

I think you're getting there, and I'm VERY glad you're trying again, darling. (: It's a step, and I think you've done exceptionally (sp) well, so far.

Can't wait for more! (:

Really quite nice
Excellent descriptor words that give powerful emotion to the piece
Although im sure it wuz much more powerful to the one it wuz written for
It really calls out someone and for a moment makes the reader feel ashamed

5/5
your an excellent writer

It was okay. but a lot of it i didnt really take to heart; it wasnt very powerful in my eyes. but congrats on the win anyway, its not my judging that matters ;)

So , let ` s try this again . Lol . With the title , it seemed kind of dark but mysterious . Which made me think and made me want to do this one first . Lol . So on with my comment . [ Be aware , I comment as I read , that way it is more meaningful and in depth . I may change my mind from stanza to stanza . Lol . Pre - Warning ]

First line / stanza : I love the way you open the piece . It gives you insight on the meaning but still leaves you wondering what is going to happen . It is also confusing so it grabbed my attention . Good thing :]]

I like the breathing thing . It shows raw emotion and proves you are human and feel just like everyone else . LoveIt .

Okay , with the forgetting who you are thing . I like it a lot . But I think some of the words should be arranged . For example , the there for a moment should be at the beginning of the line . It makes things seem how can I put it ; Sloppy . Not in a mean way though . I love the follow up line . It is like a stalkerish - I ` m not going anywhere reminder . Lol . Which I love . It made me smile . Weirdly .

YAY A BIG STANZA;;; Jk . Anyways , I love the idea behind this . The way your admitting that , yeah , sometimes parents are right but they aren ` t always . And there is some sarcasm in there . I loved it . And the last line , about the whole crawling is not the first step . WASAMAZINGGG . Agh . Just wonderful . I love this stanza . So real and great .

Little lines again . I think these work well in this particular piece . I love the meaning in them though ; I have my own idea of what this piece ACTUALLY mean , and if I am right you express it wonderfully . . .

SARCASM . . . So much of it . I liked the smoking metaphor . It is a great way to compare certain situations . And the little comment at the end " it doesn ` t taste so good now does it " or whatever you said . Not sure of the exact words . I just loved it .

Right now , I am not sure how I feel about the repitition of the first line . While I love the line , I just am not sure ya know ?

Hehe , this stanza made me smile . While cancer is not a happy subject , it is used in a very humurous way here . I liked it . One thing I did not like all that much , was the ( in a metaphor way ) it kinda bothered me . Lol . Almost ruins the fun of thinking about what your talking about . Other than that I liked the idea .

I am starting to connect all the ideas and comments together and getting the BIG PICTURE . Lol . I liked the idea of the blister being brought up again .

Oh boy . I liked this one . Except again ,you said the metaphor stuff again . Agh . Lol . But , now I am thinking this is about a relationship . And someone took that person away from you . Shoot me if I am wrong , it is just a guess :]

No little lines ? Lol . I like that you bring God into it . And the way you go about it made a hell of a lot of sense . Excuse my language but it does . The ingredients are all provided and we choose to decipher [ spelling ] through and pick what we think is best . You say it in a better way than most preachers or religious teacher would normally do . No offense to the preachers though . Lol .

Last lines of the poem . I love them . They sum it up with sarcasm and switches the blame to you or whoever . I love it all . I loved the whole piece . Just amazing . So great job my dear . 5 . 5

Amber .

I never blamed God. He isnt real.

I love it. I'll appreciate it if you could find time to go through my poems too and please put me through how to enter the contest. Thanks.

WOW

loved it!!! .xx

Brilliant. i can really connect with this. as some1 said above, if this is rusty, than anything else would be incredible. keep writing and dont let writers block stop you, id be surprised if anything u wrote turned out not amazing.

x

Very strong and very true. i like that its not as judgmental as most writing even though it vents its pure. you're an amazing writer and an even better being. 5/5

*^*crow*^*

An interesting short essay with valid and poignant content. It stretches the definition of poetry and quotation in a manner quite unusual for featured items on this site, for sure.

AMAZING...absolutely loved it man
you have amazing thoughts,& they're very true..keep writing :D

Nice! i enjoyed it.

"He gave you everything he wanted you to be (let's say, a good personality, healthy morals, and a beautiful smile) among a few other ingredients. But he let you choose, and here you are choosing stunning eyes, heartless morals, and maybe a dash of an ego."

We need to talk.