Comments : You're Like a Record.

  • 10 years ago

    by Perfection

    This is a sweet and deep poem. You express your feelings in a beautifull way. Also I loved the way you use record as a metaphor. It makes the whole thing more enjoyable to read.

    A sweet poem just like yourself =)

  • 10 years ago

    by BurriedFaceDown

    You're perpetually on my mind.
    ^^^
    Great first line... I love a different word than the more words like "always" or "constantly"

    The feelings I have for you-
    Blossom more each day.
    They are everlasting...
    and will not disappear.
    ^^^
    I really love how you change up the words and use more unquie words and lines than the usual love poem
    I really love the this line....
    Blossom more each day.

    You're like a record on repeat.
    The image of you in my mind,
    repeats over and over.
    ^^^^
    I like how you compared his image to a record repeating itself...never changing to a different song or album or in this case
    never change the picture or just his face

    It never stops, nor rewinds;
    Fast-fowards or pauses.
    It is one of the things,
    That I can't remove.
    ^^^^
    like i said it is just his face just on picture or many pictures just showing him
    expect it is all in the mind
    i really like how i can relate this to my life.

    You have the eyes that sparkle,
    The smile that gives me butterflies.
    ^^^
    I love how you give the little details

    You have everything -
    I've ever wanted and needed.
    ^^^^
    These are some of the more common of love lines...But they work.

    But, why...
    Do I have these feelings for you?
    Why do they repeat so many times?
    ^^^
    Great way to end the poem
    I particularly like it when the poet will end there poem in a question or questions
    i feel that it makes the reader remember it for a longer period of time... and gives the reader something to think about

    Great poem

  • 10 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    This poem describes exactly what it feels like to be in love. Its like the song you can't get out of your head. I enjoyed this romantic love poem I will just love it while it last and not hit the player

  • 10 years ago

    by BREEawNUHH

    First of all, this piece is wonderful.

    "You're perpetually on my mind."

    ^^ The first line was enough to grab my attention, which, of course, is key.

    "The feelings I have for you-
    Blossom more each day.
    They are everlasting...
    and will not disappear."

    ^^ And this part did not disappoint in any way. This is so beautifully written, and I feel as though it described perfectly what it is like to be in love.

    "You're like a record on repeat.
    The image of you in my mind,
    repeats over and over.
    It never stops, nor rewinds;
    Fast-fowards or pauses.
    It is one of the things,
    That I can't remove."

    ^^ I liked this. One small error, however; "fowards" should be "forwards". I especially liked the first few lines of this part. I, personally, have found that it is exactly what happens when you love someone -- the image of them never seems to leave your head, and it doesn't go away.

    "You have the eyes that sparkle,
    The smile that gives me butterflies.
    You have everything -
    I've ever wanted and needed.
    But, why...
    Do I have these feelings for you?
    Why do they repeat so many times?"

    ^^ Outstanding. This was my favourite part of the piece. Specifically -- the ending. I LOVE LOVE LOVE that you ended it with a question.

    Overall; an amazingly written piece.

    5/5

    -Briana

  • 10 years ago

    by ReinaPuente

    Here i am feeling the same excact way...almost anyway...cause i know feeling are different in everyway..
    but i think this is one of your new one that i came to with a connection.
    and i really liked this one
    alot of emotion and and who knew we felt the same way about a certain subject

  • 10 years ago

    by kate

    This is really cute. I liked how you used a record to descripe how you are feeling. Its well done and well wrote out. this poem made me smile and it was great. =]

    keep it up.
    keep on writing.
    love always and forever.

  • 10 years ago

    by dollwithafrown

    I really enjoyed this. I like how you related a lover to a record.

    "You're perpetually on my mind.
    The feelings I have for you-
    Blossom more each day.
    They are everlasting...
    and will not disappear."

    ^^ This first stanza, especially, reminded me of when I hear a song for the first time, and I instantly like it. The lyrics and tune sticks in my mind for ages and I can't get it out... much like the feeling when you love somebody and can't get them out your head.

    For some reason I didn't particularly love the ending. It doesn't sound like the way an ending should. It didn't feel like the end, if you know what I mean.

    Overall, though, I really enjoyed this.

  • 10 years ago

    by Bugg

    Mm, I thought is was cute, but a bit too cliche for my taste. Normally, I don't even read love poems because in my opinion (no offense to anyone!) they are all cliche, even the few that I have. lol I can relate to this poem, however.

  • 10 years ago

    by Rachel RTVW

    I don't like the punctuation, it is distracting. The pause is implied at the end of a line...

    ^Why do they repeat so many times? ^

    I could ask the same question. You used "you" 5 times and you're ( a form of you) 2 times.

    The majority of the poem is filler words,very cliche and repetitive. I don't think it was very creative and it did not flow well. The Tasteless made some good points I won't repeat......

  • 10 years ago

    by The Prince

    Thanks for the comments!
    People never read my poems cause I'm not techincally English but poems are my passion.
    And this poem is great, don't listen to what other people say.
    The punctuation is not distracting :)

  • 10 years ago

    by H E Losey

    I enjoyed this read, and see you fixed your typo.
    I guess some people would say anything written would be a "cliche'" as each word has been used before, by someone, in the same way, at least a couple of hundred times. The entire lnaguage is passe'.

  • 10 years ago

    by Jennifer RIP Lesthat Hayden

    Don't use a period in the title. :)

    The and and the repeats are the only ones not capitalized in the whole poem. That's off beat from the rest of the poem.

    and will not disappear.

    You're like a record on repeat.
    The image of you in my mind,
    repeats over and over.

    It wasn't bad. I felt the ending should have been different. I mean, yeah the questions were nice because it makes the reader think after the poem is done, but to me it felt like it was missing something before hand to go into more detail.

    Good poem though. Four out of five.

  • 10 years ago

    by Blissful

    Oh boy can I relate with this. That image just wont get out of your mind and you keep seeing him in everything you do. I liked your flow here because it didnt seem forced and the word usage was also great. I could not see one bad thing. Well done I hope you win! *5/5*

  • 10 years ago

    by Fsams

    This one is very cute and romantic. I loved the metaphorical content in ur piece. I really enjoyed it. :-)