Comments : Elisabetta

  • 8 years ago

    by coverd in darkness

    Beautifully worded and written full of so many strong stand out lines. For me i loved "The rhythm of your heart knows no end, only seasons
    Though we may be apart, we must not dwell upon reasons" the way you worded this couldn't of been done better amazing job and also "With each shining star we know the darkness will pass
    Though we may try to capture time, like sand in a glass" this is absolute brilliant rhyming. The poem takes the reader on a journey that is clear to understand yet written so perfectly.
    "Yet, by the time we say good-by" i think is meant to have a e on the end of bye? :)
    Overall fantastic work 5/5

  • 8 years ago

    by Annaam

    Very well-written! The vOcab is strOng and sO are the xpressiOns... Great rhyming...
    All in all, jOb well-done! :)

    5/5 !

  • 8 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    "You shared a faithful smile with us, as each new day dawned.
    Every step of the way, by the way, and somehow beyond."

    Great rhyming here and this really brings me into this piece.

    "The rhythm of your heart knows no end, only seasons.
    Though we may be apart, must we dwell upon reasons?"

    I love questions tagged on, this was so beautifully written and has me reading each line with passion.

    "If we asked, "what if we tried" while we take it all in stride.
    We're humbled, I must confide, by what we find inside.
    With each shining star we know the darkness will pass.
    Though we may try to capture time, like sand in a glass."

    Brilliant stanza, nice simile and wording captured my heart and soul. Very deep and meaningful words you have written.

    "A tiny falling grain of sand to eternity is not so great.
    Yet, by the time we say good-bye, it always seems too late.
    The harmony of "heavenly bodies" sing a constant song.
    You're forever in our thoughts, so we may only say so long."

    Wonderful ending, your rhyming was perfect and the flow was flawless! I immensely enjoyed this write, so keep writing, and take care! 5/5 from me...

  • 8 years ago

    by Finding myself

    Its soo beautiful. i love it. but you should remember you never say goodbye forever

  • 8 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    I will keep that in mind

  • 8 years ago

    by heartbrokengrl

    This is so beautiful. i love the way you worded this. I Love It! =)

  • 8 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    Thankyou

  • 8 years ago

    by Lonely Rider

    Lovely write...

    "The rhythm of your heart knows no end, only seasons.
    Though we may be apart, must we dwell upon reasons?"

    ^^ loved the question tagged... it makes it even more touching ... beautifully penned...

    "A tiny falling grain of sand to eternity is not so great.
    Yet, by the time we say good-bye, it always seems too late."

    ^^ I so loved these lines... the tiny grain of sand refers to Time I guess ... loved it ...

    "You're forever in our thoughts, so we may only say so long. "

    ^^ beautifully ended ... the memories never go away

    besides the flow is flawless and loved the similies used...

    wonderful read...

  • 8 years ago

    by Cindy

    Michael
    what a wonderful tribute to your friend.
    Congrats on the win.
    Take care
    Cindy

  • 8 years ago

    by Jamie

    Beautiful poem Michael .

  • 8 years ago

    by CanUKissAwayMyPain

    Dude no wonder you won an award this was completly beautiful. i loved it. you truly have talent more then i can say.

    A tiny falling grain of sand to eternity is not so great.
    Yet, by the time we say good-bye, it always seems too late.
    The harmony of "heavenly bodies" sing a constant song.
    You're forever in our thoughts, so we may only say so long.

    this part stand right out to me. gave me a smile on my face it just reminded me of my happie memories with a friend yet idky. it just did. once again you did an amazing job.
    truly a 5/5

    TaKe CaRe,
    Frenchy

  • 8 years ago

    by Not Enough

    You shared a faithful smile with us, as each new day dawned.
    Every step of the way, by the way, and somehow beyond.
    The rhythm of your heart knows no end, only seasons.
    Though we may be apart, must we dwell upon reasons?

    ^^This is such a beautiful way to start this poem! I especially like the last line.

    If we asked, "what if we tried" while we take it all in stride.
    We're humbled, I must confide, by what we find inside.
    With each shining star we know the darkness will pass.
    Though we may try to capture time, like sand in a glass.

    ^^I love the flow and rhyming of this stanza. I think this is probably my favorite. It also has so much emotion in this one stanza.

    A tiny falling grain of sand to eternity is not so great.
    Yet, by the time we say good-bye, it always seems too late.
    The harmony of "heavenly bodies" sing a constant song.
    You're forever in our thoughts, so we may only say so long.

    ^^ A beautiful way to end a beautiful poem. All in all this was an excellent poem. Filled with tons of emotion. Great job!! 5/5