I have little things that jog my memory.
That's when I remember everything I've lived for, everything I miss.
This is when I realize how I am just living day by day and ignoring something I want so badly.
I've tricked myself by putting on a simple smile here and there, hell even a common laugh or two.
When I have these moments of remembrance,
That is when I feel it.
When I feel all the pain of the good and the bad,
When I cry because I miss everything and become hopeless.
Everything becomes dark because I've shut myself out.
I've shut myself down and can't open up to anyone else.
All this because I can't let go of the past.