Shackled Thoughts

Wow, this is reeaaally dark Lexie. I never really read a pantoum before, but it is an interesting form that I will have to try someday :)

I like how you managed to make all the lines interlink with the repitition, some people would just put in any lines and see if they work.

The rhyme was very good, and the imagery was strong as well. The flow was pretty much perfect, but I can think of one suggestion:

Thoughts of you rush in like a flood

^^ Possibly take out the 'like', as so:

[Thoughts of you rush in, a flood]

It just enhances the image, that's all :)

If you wanna make this perfect [it's marvelous as it is though], add in some punctuation, as this could enhance and strengthen some of the really strong parts of the poem. Just a thought :D

Overall, superbofabulousa! I love it LexieBean, and your style of writing suits forms, it was nice to see a change from your ordinary form [which is just fine, I like your normal form, it's just this is different... Oh I'm digging myself a hole now :D]

Lovin' all you work Lexie, keep it up!

Don't stop writing!
Emily :D xxx