I love your poem, its like using colors of your inner child,
and the colors of your love combine into one.
its like a song.
i have posted up poems of my own you may relate too. we all speak in a different ways expressing our emotions and events that happend if it werent for emotions there would never be poems.
Very interesting indeed. i didn't know what color you were talking about exactly a few times but using such unique and specific color shades adds to the description of the poem.
i dont know if it is me, but it seemed like some of the colors were forced... but i guess you wrote this for contest and so the theme was supposed to be about 10 different colors, and so you kinda had to force it a little bit.
I love how you used the colors here :)
I'm sorry if you feel sad, but it sounds like you need love. I think this is a wonderful poem and you did a good job 5/5 katie
btw sorry it took so long for me to get back and rate/comment your poem. i don't have much time these days :)
Def. different, but still great! There was def a mix of colors in there and words that i normally dont see in poems, great choice of words. The imagery was also really good. All together, this poem was awesome, great job!!
^^ It's quite unusual to hear somebody describe front as 'milky'. I like it. :]
"I wonder when you'll
bring back your saffron sunshine
to make me warm again."
^^ These lines make the reader think the narrator is still hopeful; still thinking their love will return to them, with that familiar 'saffron sunshine'. Once again I really liked the description here.
"Wondering leaves me lonely..."
^^ Eek, this line made me smile... though only because I could relate so well to it. I often think that we are at our most lonely when we are allowed the chance to run wild with our memories and thoughts. They can be dangerous obstacles and sometimes I've burst into the saddest of tears just thinking to myself, even if I'm not thinking of things that even had a huge impact on my life in the first place.
"I can't help but miss
the way you tease my
mulberry nail polish and how
I refuse to wipe off.
Or how I never use my apricot
crayon to draw pictures."
^^ I think this stanza has to be favourite out of the whole poem. I just like the random references to memories the narrator has; the nail polish, the crayons - it's so random and memorable and [specific]. It makes it so much more personal - and poetry is nothing if not personal.
Beautiful poem, so full of love, heart ache, desire and confusion. Enjoyed the colours, I thought it very poetic how you used less mundane colours, using much more interesting words than blue or red. :)
Generally, I liked this poem, although some of the colors sounded forced. There were also bits that weren't exactly clear; those seemed random and felt off-topic. For instance, does 'hills of jade' refer to an inside secret shared? The use of these words are original, but it's unclear what they mean.
"Or how I never use my apricot
crayon to draw pictures."
What does this have to with anything at all? I cannot see how not drawing pictures with apricot-colored crayons related to the idea of this poem. Another example of this confusion is "a leprechaun who doesn't want the pot of gold". So what does he want?
Of course, there are some very nice things in here. "saffron sunshine", the second stanza, and the last two lines struck me particularly hard.
Just focus on what you're saying, add a word or two to clearly indicate what you mean. Keep it subtle, but not so much to keep all the secrets of the poem to yourself.
Absolutely amazing . Not only did you incorperate all colours , but even the shades . You were able to make a love poem , one that touches home really deeply . If you didn't win the contest, I don't know what the other poem could have been . I have no way to critique you , so definately 5/5 .
Haha I was wondering what all the colors were for, it started to get a little much near the end. I think a lot of times we make our minds and hearts believe me need someone when in fact we really don't need them at all. I've waited a long time for the one person I truly need. Great work 5/5