I agree with Britt. the first thing i noticed about this poem was that it was meant to be read aloud . the way you have broken the sentences up and the slight rhyme really adds affect for that. the next thing i noticed was the content. kinda a bit close to the mark of something I'm going through right now. really powerful. especially the last stanza

inhale, exhale
silence

so much meaning and imagery put into only 3 words. really powerful

I really like the way this poem was formatted, it flows very well and has a lot of power when those few words are one line.

I like how you used onomatopoeia ( I think that's the word I'm looking for, where you use sound words? )

The opening was reassuring, to close your eyes and maybe not overthink the day, just relax and listen to the rain fall down harder and faster. I've always liked listening to storms, they hold a lot of power and it can be inspiring I feel like!

"If truth be told
I doubt our paths
will ever meet
but history proves
that desire can morph
into belief;
you can be my heaven."

- Wow, I like how more specific you are here... how you kind of open up, state your thoughts honestly that even if your paths don't cross, this possibility of a relationship could be there. Eloquently expressed.

Nice how you mentioned Cupid and destiny trying to sway you...you bring more power to the ending lines when you write with sudden need it seems like. "and draft the truth we wish to gain"- love that! How you will grow together and truly learn what truth is.

Lots of hope in the end, that you will continue on, together. Calming words in the ending line again, of breathing in, then out, then hearing nothing. Sometimes that can be the most treasured moment, the moment understood by both people.

"thats" and "lets" should have apostrophes, otherwise I have no other suggestions. Beautiful piece!