Mother look what you've done

Everything i thought a mother daughter relationship was meant to be
Broken and shattered... agony more than i can describe
Are we really mother and daughter?
Or are you dumb and me dumber?
For i trusted you thought you were my role model
Never showed me the same respect
Never believed me

From me being viciously raped
Not by one person but multiple
By people you knew you could of stopped it
As they would force my body onto there's
You'd just take me there again and again
Scar me for life
Still can feel them on me
How could you be so blind
Be so neglectful of your little girl
Who was only just like eight at the time

Little brother bashing me breaking my bones
Never once did you believe me
Consequence now wrists are weak
Takes nothing to break them
As fragile as a old women
Always you took his side over mine
God only knows the reason why

Your husband for many years
My father also
Better said as a abusive alcoholic
He used to beat me
Again you never believed me
You heard the verbal abuse
But never did anything just sat there
He'd throw my stuff around
You'd just tell me clean it up
Like it was all my fault

Years went by you returned to work
Was any of that real or just your chance to betray us all
Cheat on dad make me pretend i knew nothing
When you found out i knew you threatened me
Had no choice but to keep it buried inside
Hurt so much cut my heart and wrists so deep
Secrets that burnt my soul
Good mother never you were
Made me spend time with your new guy
While no one else knew
What kind of mother are you

Year 10 formal you were too busy for me
Teacher had to do my hair and make up
No photo of you and i
No happy memory just sadness of it all
Day you finally left
One of the best of my life in ways
For you never really cared
Still for some reason i had faith in you
Why i did that?
Guess i was just the fool

Got caught in a trap
Had to escape dads
So moved in with you
What a stupid thing to do
Was always guys over me
When they weren't around you'd come running to me
Like i was some councilor or something
Not a daughter that's all i know
Your boyfriend would verbally abuse me
You didn't care
Gave him chance after chance he never changed
Eventually got his way

You went on holidays
I ended up hospitalized
My ex had bashed me bad
Still you didn't believe me
You took his side over mine
What kind of mother does that
So neglectful better off not being my mother at all

Icing on the cake
Day your boyfriend wanted me out
In a heartbeat no a flash faster than lightening
He got his wish and i was out
On the streets to face the world alone
Lost without anywhere to go
Rarely do you call to see how i am
You've stuffed things up so bad
I'll never consider you my mother again

Look at me now
22 alone in a refuge
Finally speaking up about all the hurt
All the things i kept hidden inside
All the betrayal and the lies
With all this comes the worst feelings yet
Unloved, depressed and completely insane
You saw me shaking but were still to blind to see
Something is seriously wrong with me
Once i get things back on track
If i survive that long
I'm getting all my stuff back
And disowning you as my mum
Disowning you as anyone at all
For you will no longer be a part of my life
Just a nightmare that once tore me apart
That maybe made be bleed too hard