Short, descriptive, to the point. You start by describing an emotion instead of just saying 'I feel sad,' and the lines that follow expand on the first thought to compare yourself to a vessel, and what you need to survive. You describe how a glass is meaningless without something to fill it, and the words you chose, "Without love and care,
I fall to the ground."
feel so simple, yet so carefully chosen. It really creates in my mind a lucid idea, and so a vivid look into what you are or were feeling.
Generally I don't like poetry that doesn't rhyme but this was clear and solid, if perhaps lacking rhythm (and I don't necessarily mean rhyming there, but I suppose I'm biased). Well written.
I like how you show that people need love to survive because without it we have this empty feeling me to fill. good poem :)
4 years ago
I love the simple way you word this as it leaves so much the imagination. I love how you could use the cup as your heart. You want this person to fill your heart up with love and you want them to love you for you. You no longer want to be alone. I love the second stanza the most. That's what tells the whole story here. The glass or what I presume is your heart shattered without anyone to save it. No one cares and its sad when you feel like this.
That's the end of life. I love that line because I think we all can relate to it. Without feeling loved there seems tobe no point in trying to move on. I love the message you bring to this overall. We all need to feel loved other wise oour heart will be glass and just shatter. 5/5