Comments : You're Nothing But A Lover

  • 7 years ago

    by Italian Stallion

    Wow, nice write, loved the flow and feel to this poem. So deep and meaningful. Keep up the beautiful pieces of art.

    - Joe

  • 7 years ago

    by Ronald Edwards

    Rapunzel, you live me breathless... the eyes are the windows to the soul. I see you have gazed into your lovers eyes and found happiness and bliss. You use a pen as a painter uses a brush, great imagery and description. Thanks for sharing

  • 7 years ago

    by Michael D Nalley

    We are nothing without Love and any true poet would love to be the "You" in this poem wich has the mystic depth of many master poets such as Gibran, Dylan and even Rumi.....brilliant and between the unread-able pages of my book

  • 7 years ago

    by Ingrid de Klerck

    Ok hun, giving you my honest opinion& suggestions:

    At the meeting of your eyes, there's a mystery

    ^^
    Meeting your eyes, I sense a mystery

    Yet for the power of your sight, lays a history,

    ^^
    behind the power of your sight lays a history

    about the love and life, that through your eyes bright

    ^^about the love and life that shine through your eyes

    and the empires that are built for you through the night

    There at the depth of your scene, too much to suffice
    Bold skies under melting mountains made of ice
    Where silver covers the soft soil, and hard dice

    There between the unread-able pages of your book
    leaping beats lacking the power to steal a swift look
    or to run down the rivers rippling the mourns of lust
    Where my dreams dive and then rusts through dust<<< good wording!
    then exceedingly fly above your blue with the airy gust

    And at the depth of your scene, and meadows of your voice
    Millions of beats bow for the tenderness with extreme rejoice<<< I like this, ha ha ha!
    yet the perils of your heart, looks too bright too fake
    and with my heart being homeless, it's a bit too unworthy
    to take-- beneath mine which is too weak not to break

    ^^
    This last stanza was my favorite, the homeless heart is a very romantic phrase:)

    The word"scene"that you used twice, somehow seems out of place..maybe you could think of another word?

    This poem is not bad, but it is somehow not from deep within you, like the poem you posted right before this one. I think you should wait until the poem starts to write itsself, like it did with the previous one. Wait for true inspiration, so to say.

    * hugs*

    5/5 Ingrid

  • 7 years ago

    by Lady Nik

    Well it would seem everyone has left you long comments about how awesome this piece is but I only have one thing to say. WOW! Nik [:

  • 7 years ago

    by silvershoes

    You really have a knack for poetry! I'm impressed. The last stanza seems to lose flow but that could be my poor reading skills. A very lovely write from you. Thanks for sharing.

  • 7 years ago

    by chind

    Wow! that was amazing naza ! I loved it! How you are able to create such amazing pieces one after another just awes me. I love the vivid images in this piece, and every line was amazing !!

    "about the love and life that shines through your eyes
    and the empires you praise through passionate nights"
    - um WOW!

  • 7 years ago

    by PinkyPrincess

    WoW! this poem is amazing... Extremely well-written! I love your metaphors and comparison... they're so well put together!
    Some of my favorite lines are:
    "Reading between the unread-able pages of your book"
    "and with my heart being homeless, it's a bit too unworthy
    to take-- beneath mine which is too weak not to break"

    Beautiful words! You definitely inspire me to write more! :)

  • 7 years ago

    by Just Sierra

    Absolutely love this. Haven't been on this site in forever but I kinda felt a poetry mood come onto me again. Your poem is great inspiration! Thank you!