Honestly I thought this poem was absolutely impressive. Most will take such an idea and create a poem that is so dull and does not really gain much interest from the reader but I just love how you expressed yourself here, everything was great. It wasn't overly cliche, maybe a little bit but not as bad as what I usually see. However, I wasn't really too keen on the title for some reason. I get where you're coming from with it, but I wish there was something stronger, because it didn't really lure me in as much as I had hoped, but I figured I'd check it out anyways and I'm glad I did. However, a title is your first impression to the reader and it should be a good one.
This is beyond fantastic Paul !
a veryyyyyyyy uniqueeeee poem, with the widest imagination, and newest wording that I have read lately. Your work seems to be like fresh air !!
Traveling for light-years across the Universe
Carried by that movement, a galactic ballet
To tell you what I feel there is no better place
^^add a comma after "feel "
We belong to the great and gorgeous Milky Way
mmm if you take off the "and" between great and gorgeous and place a comma , it would be richer . However
I guess 1st of all that it's a free verse right? since not all the stanzas rhymed ...however if that's the case then your opening stanza is extremely amazing..with a very romantic thought, impressing that I believe it made me feel as if this love is that much elegant and important, and worthy that it belongs to such a magical place..
A very interesting beginning Paul !
I believe you were born in a blue nebula
That chose to transmit you all its magnificence
add a comma after you.. and I am not sure but you may need to say all of its magnificence .
But however this is just outstanding!!!!wow
You have become a star, brighter than a nova
And beautified spacetime with your dazzling presence
^^take off the "And", say you or anything else..or nothing at all,,would work and space time is 2 words so separate them .
>>anyhow this is the most magnificent vision that I have ever got to see through poetry..you have such a potential !!
I'm sure constellations would all like to wear you
As a precious jewel, on their celestial lines
In the whole galaxy star clouds are jealous too
From any point of view sky's treasure is your shine
^^^^WOWOWOWOWWWW you blew me awaaaaayyyyyyy.. I am speechless..out of words..am taken away..you really done a fantastic job.
>>review your last line, and add a comma after view.
I was just cosmic dust lost in the Infinite
^^very creative and imaginative.I admire your sense of creativity
Gravitational fields sometimes do miracle
Yours has modified me, creating a planet
No doubt that I will now turn around an angel
^^^^this is breathtaking..and I love how you made us feel and KNOW how amazing this lover is and how strongly this love has effected you..in a way creative way..
your last line is your weakest if I to be honest, and the poem deserves a stronger one..try edit that..
but if you disagree then all is cool.
but you will soon be well known over her,e trust me..keep writing!!!