Comments : If I

  • 6 years ago

    by Courageous Dreamer

    You are so brilliant, and I don't think I could share the same emotions and situations with anyone but you, cause you just understand so well.

    You have your way with words. Seriously. This poem it's kind of like if you're not willing to give me the respect I deserve , like you said being the last cigarette, ect. - which yes are very symbolic in their own ways and add so much more meaning to the poem.

    The way I see it is if this person puts you last, then they aren't giving you the respect you deserve & thus you will leave.. 'cause you don't deserve to feel that way.

    You'll be my last arrow,
    ^Sweet sweet revenge! I won't care about you cause you don't care about me kinda thing.

    Then when you say I'll teach you how to hunt
    It's kind of like saying I'll show you the pain you showed me.

    I know my interpretation was a bit different but I loved the poem either way! Your words may be simple but if a poet looks beyond them.. there is much beauty to be found.

  • 6 years ago

    by Rania Moallem

    No you interpreted it way too close XD

  • 6 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    You always have such a creative voice in your writing that just is like BAM headstrong hehe....Jacey is right though, you had a powerful impact with these metahpors and descriptions, it was quite unique and still had that thought of bringing back what comes around..

    Well done Nana, and thanks for you reading my poetry, it always makes me smile!

    ~MaryAnne

  • 6 years ago

    by Larry Chamberlin

    If I Am the last cigarette in your
    pocket, [etc]
    ^^^
    Just to show that a good poem can be interpeted in many ways: I saw this as a challenge from a strong independnet woman who does not need to be worshiped or fawned on.

    or the exceptional prey for
    the bow you worship,
    then
    you'll be my last
    wooden arrow...
    ^^^
    and how well stated is that challenge: a wooden arrow is actually the ancient weapon of choice, but stated here it sounds as if he is effete, hardley worth the expectations one might have

    let's teach you,
    how to hunt..
    ^^^
    crowning touch: ok, bub, I'm going to help you out so you make it worth my time WOW!

  • 6 years ago

    by Larry Chamberlin

    Dammit mods, gimme a spell check or an edit button!

  • 6 years ago

    by Cindy

    Nana
    What a unique piece you have penned. You don't have to come in last in anyones heart. When you feel you shuold be thought of more highly. Like you would think of them. I like how there was no begging for attention in this piece....just straight up...how it will be :) Nice imagery and word choices.
    Awesome job!
    Love Cindy