Comments : Lazy Daisy

  • 6 years ago

    by Britt

    This is beautiful! Thought provoking and truthful, I love the title and the rhyme, and how the piece doesn't rhyme. Gives it an interesting feel.

    I think my favorite thing about this poem is your structure, and when you chose your line breaks to give more emphasis to specific lines. I thought it really added depth to the poem and really shows the progress and maturity you've been adding to your poetry! :)

    I LOVE the ending, best thoughts always go unwritten - SO TRUE. I think any writer can relate to this, we always think we'll remember it later, but we never can, not the same. Love love love this. Nominated :)

  • 6 years ago

    by Dixiedaisy

    I love this, andfunny for you to write a poem about forgetting what to write about and coming about it with such a beautiful write. Of course first thought on the title drew me in, I love daisy's (hence the name). So when I read the poem I found it very peaceful that the writer found themself in a lazy way of forgetting what to write. The write itself was very laidback and something about it just gave a sense of accomplishment for even the reader. I suppose we should all take a pen and paper with us at all times to capture the little lines and fleeting glimpses of poetry that cross our thoughts. Awesome job on this piece.

  • 6 years ago

    by Jad

    A very interesting poem that I think so many writers, authors, and whoever else writes stuff for a past time can relate to. It's easy as we go through our day and think of somethhing interesting bu we say we'll do it later and when later comes we have either lost the will to write or lost what we were thinking about. Your poem is very beautiful and the lines went together so nicely and it flowed flawlessly. Each word was powerful and I really like the emotions in this poem, which give off a feeling of frustration at times when this happen.

    All in all, you have written a very creative and thought provoking piece that already has me thinking about a poem I can write! :P Anyway, I am really impressed with what you have here and your message is given across so clearly here and it is easy to understand. Simplistic in nature and easy to comprehend. Great job and keep writing.

  • 6 years ago

    by Lu

    Very eye catching title Yaki, really grabbed my attention.

    You have grown so much in your writing over the past months ... soooooo proud of you hun.

    I think many people will be able to relate to this write. I know I can ! So many times something flows from my mind and unfortunately it's at a time when no pen is in sight .. lol

    Wonderful read Yaki ... and the ending = so true!!

  • 6 years ago

    by Rania Moallem

    Congratss lol ;)

  • 6 years ago

    by Kiko

    I love the laid-back, lazy-daisy tone to this poem. It like totally works for me.

    Great job!

  • 6 years ago

    by Renegade Angel

    You got my attention right away. I love it!

  • 6 years ago

    by Sincuna

    I am not at all impressed by this.

    You were trying to describe writer's block in the first stanza by merely telling what is happening... "muscles to move..." - Actually when a poet awakens, he/she does not care about muscles moving. There are much more significant things to worry about. Also, try and be creative with the topic you have. Writer's block... see any symbolisms? Block... Walls... imagine a person locked inside a windowless room, as if never to experience life again. Couldn't you follow a metaphor bigger than an image of a person wanting to move their hands to write?

    You can do better than that.

    Also, deep thoughts reaching the bottom of an ocean is such old figure, this metaphor also was not used to push through by you.

    What I mean is, if you want to go along with this metaphor, and connect it with writer's block. Why not put the speaker "literally" at the bottom of the ocean and work your metaphor there?

    As if the speaker loses oxygen underneath and the valuable thoughts unwritten gets lost in sea?

    The following lines are plain. Like a rushed email letter.

  • 6 years ago

    by Nevi

    I really thought this was great. The title really catches the eye, and I like how simple the entire poem is, you don't try to push very strong imagery, which gives it a more light, lazy kind of feel.

    I really love how the entire poem tells about your experience of something all of us feel at one time or another, the feeling of losing so many great ideas and lines to, just not feeling like it. I loved this

    5/5

    -Nevi

  • 6 months ago

    by mossgirl19

    For all I know, this happens to everyone, especially me, hehe. I just love the whole poem. Great!