You did a great job painting a philosophical reality from the character of an ocean. This poem is simple and straight to the point. The ocean certainly has its own storms to deal with, but we may not even know about it. Thanks for sharing this and have a Merry Christmas!!
This is very special, even to me Sarah! I too, enjoyed reading it like 5 times!
I love your wording, the flow, tho you can play with a more mysterious title, but it served it's purpose.
amazing work, nominated!
5 years ago
Sarah, that really rippled at the surface of my heart, too. I like it, everything related to water, and I can also feel that there is some celestial reflection because of the blueness. Great piece, with dense thoughts.
Wow this is so so sooo amazing and true and wow greatly written I really loved it and delighted to read it and written from a good poet too :) ur poetry idk I love it I'd poetry is awesome I loved it 5/5
I really enjoyed reading this poem, not only because of the topic you dealt with, but also how you adorned this and I think that the message you convey is very powerful.
I like the topic because you underlined the oceans beauty and that there is so much more to it than its depth. Obviously some people have expectations, which they hope to be fullfilled by the ocean, but it's same with life, you may have expectations when it comes to your life, but they won't be fullfilled on their own. One has to work for it and earn it. That's why neither the ocean beauty and mystery nor life should ever be taken for granted and that's exactly what you manage to show with your poem.
I'm not really that much of a fan when it comes to repetition, but since you only repeated two syllables it was okay and I think it gave this poem structure. I know that my imagination might be a bit far off but it somehow has something like ebb and flow if you ask me. I mean that those question might symbalize the flow because they are somewhat invasive, while the other two stanza could be ebb, rather quiet seeming, but with a deep meaning that eventually predicts following flows.
Those are just my thoughts though. Overall I think that this is a well written poem though with original content and meaning.
This poem is defnitly an ocean of emotion. I really like what people come up with that has to do with water. I never read anything like this before, I really like how you said that the ocean has its own battles. something people dont take into consideration, I also liked how you started painted a nice picture to being with :) nice poem
Loved this! I loved how you described the ocean with a personality. I loved the part how you described the saltiness of the ocean with it shedding tears. That is an awesome thought. Also about the ocean's battles. I loved it because it reminds me of our creator and by observing nature we can see his personality. Your poem helped remind me of that thought. Great job.
5 years ago
I too like this and will re-read it more than once. I could hear the waves and smell the salt. As few do this one will inspire my own take, which may be a compliment of sorts!
Battles of the ocean. Ocean battles. Hmmm very good imagery and ideas.
I really love this poem..the metaphor you use and each meaning of line....it so deep, i really love nature...great work!
4 years ago
I love how you can describe most things by an ocean itreally is bbeautiful. You seem to describe yourself as the ocean with your happiness on the outside and battle on the inside. Colours really do paint a very pretty picture here as you decribe them. This poem as more going to it then just the ocean I feel. When waves lap our feet it seems like they are waving hello to us. When they kiss the shore its a good feeling that dances inside of us all. I love how you say the waves are friendly like they are lonely and want to feel loved.
I love how you show the sun and moon. Its a warm feeling you bring to this poem. I like also how you see the ocean as a person not just a body of water. You bring so much alive in this poem. The wind is its dance partner. It may struggle but life will be ok. Blue is the ocean's main colour but I love the moods. Like for example if the sky turns dark the ocean could feel angry like a storm is coming. A nice bright sunny day or a clear night is when a person could be happiest.
The ocean always like a person holds many secrets that it doesn't want to share. When I see a reflection written about; I see like someone masquarading or hiding something inside itself. A soul like an ocean is very deep and sometimes so misunderstood. Same with the heart. We don't always realise it but an ocean can be like a heart and get hurt in so many different ways. We cry out for help and sometimes no one can even hear us scream.
We all have our own battles in life and people don't always know that like I said. It put it so uniquely and talk about writing messages. Its funny how one personneeds help but they always help ssomeone whoneeds it less than they do. Its hard to help oourselves and when we do need it we feel too alone to ask. We never know a true answer unless we listen to what we can't always hear!
Its ok to cry out to someone who needs it. Crying is such a good thing at times yet people think it makes us weak. No that is not the case at all. Crying makes us feel and feelings are always good. Sometimes we needto cry for someone to truly listen. I love how you said bitter tears. That makes me believe that the ocean is full of sadness and tears are always flowing but theymight be full of hope.
You did such a beautiful job here and the deeper message is so strong. Again I love how you describe the ocean as a person. A very sad person but none the less the imagery is painted so well. 5/5