Good night

by Pham   Feb 9, 2012


Everyday, I try to stay up late
Just for you, my lovely soul mate

Even if it's dark and tiredness overwhelms
Even if it hurts and my eyes want to shut

Against this pain I will fight
And I'll succeed with all my might

It's worth the wait seeing you sleep
This beautiful girl, what a sight
This sweet image of you dreaming forever I'll keep
It's time, sweetheart, to say good night.

It's one of my first poems i wrote and my english is not the best, so i'd like to receive some comments and suggestions to improve it
thx :)

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Latest Comments

  • 12 years ago

    by Pham

    Thank you for your comments

    I'm about to write a new poem, Valentine's Day coming soon :D

  • 12 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    I do love elegant and simple....very sweet and romantic ~

  • 12 years ago

    by Deep Purple

    Innocent love...for your first poem its real good...sweetly simple and clear :) You should write more...looking forward for your work...thumbs up to u...5/5

  • 12 years ago

    by Jenni

    I think that this poem has potential because it definately shows how much she means to you and that you enjoy every moment with her. During sleep one is at peace mostlikely and probably vulnerable too, but you're there to take care of her.

    To be it just feels a little as if you focused on making the rhymes work, which is fine, but that made them a little predictable too, if that makes any sense lol

  • 12 years ago

    by Innocent Fairy

    I really love it I don't know if I'd change a thing,,just the way you wrote this amazing lovely sweet poem makes it complete and magnificent,,it may not look perfect but it is and it may not look neet but it's sweet,,this is a really good write and good imagery,,keep up the good work :) 5/5

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