Comments : Lie to Me Again

  • 12 years ago

    by Sunshine

    We all know, what austins Sad poems, do to Ms sunshine, she even wrote about it! Well well, done, and welcome back to blowing my mind off.

    this was seriously moving, depressing (gd sign) and emotional. It's very...like harmonic, and I was really touched by it Jad...

    It inspired me too,,thought provoking, made me think bout the times when we need to live a lie or believe it, tho we are aware of the bitter truth or the quiet end.

    However, I loved the mood and tone in the 1st verse, the part bout the rain as well, made it personal, somehow, somewhat.

    I love your work, I love your sad poems and nature ones. Keep writing! more of these lol :)

  • 12 years ago

    by Sylvia

    I read one line down in the poem and then like a light bulb going on, the title made perfect sense to me. Sometimes when a love goes bad, we are willing to settle for that lie, I still love you. It lets us continue to deny that the love is over and makes us think we don't hurt anymore. Nothing farther from the truth. Well done Jad. BTW nice to see a new poem from you.

  • 12 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    My Love, wash away our sins,
    and bring me back when
    we had forgotten our pain
    and our sorrows
    while we danced away in the rain.

    ^A stanza that sets the mood of love, how love can cure all things and imprints lasting memories..

    Tell me you love me again
    and these wounds will mend
    as the days wither away

    ^Isn't it funny how when our loved ones open up their heart to us during a sad moment and it heals all the wounds..a touching stanza.

    And once again lie to me
    as the end we'll see
    that we're made to be apart
    like love and hate,
    that corrode this broken heart.

    ^This ending really shows the hurt of the writer and I like the last two lines especially! Very well written as always and a write that would touch any reader's heart..take care.

  • 12 years ago

    by Jenni

    I do not know why exactly, but you really captivated and touched me with that title, maybe because I can actually feel it. It made me think about what's worse, whether it's the fact that we know it's a lie or wanting to hear it anyway.

    I really like the first stanza, especially the tenderness and sincerity. You could have started it with "Love" but you chose "My Love" instead, which underlines the speakers wish for the closeness that was there, I also think that "love" is the most meaningful term of endearment that there is.

    Obviously it does make everything better when our loved ones tell us how much we mean to them, I actually wanted to say that it'd make the sun shine again thoughit is different here. The speaker is surrounded by an onerous atmosphere, maybe because he knows that it's just a lie.

    The last stanza brought it all together really well, I like the fact that the speaker is honest to himself and admits that the love does not have a chance.

    The rhymes made the whole poem flow smoothly and the emotions were really heartfelt.

  • 12 years ago

    by BlueJay

    My Love, wash away our sins,
    and bring me back when
    we had forgotten our pain
    and our sorrows
    while we danced away in the rain.

    ^^This is a descriptive beginning that found a way to draw me in. Even though I am curious and that isnt a hard thing to do.

    Tell me you love me again
    and these wounds will mend
    as the days wither away
    into grey skies
    that pour down with each word we say.

    ^^ You have painted an interesting image here and you have shown some intriguing emotion.

    And once again lie to me
    as the end we'll see
    that we're made to be apart
    like love and hate,
    that corrode this broken heart.

    ^^Wow, amazing ending... if amazing is even close to a strong enough word. And the emotion is clear and conveyed well.

    The flow of this piece is excellent and the style is nice. The word choice is extremely simple but it seemed to work well in this piece. I really enjoyed this even though it is very sad.

    5/5
    MRK

  • 12 years ago

    by Lonely Rider

    The most captivating thing I feel was the tone of the poem. Usually a heart break would make people write in anguish and anger ... which can be felt their words, but here the mood is calm, yet one could feel how much hurt or pain is beneath those words. The imagery is that of someone who has lost all hope and is seeking shelter in the lies or maybe a dream that could never flourish.
    Beautiful write. I just loved how expressive the poem is.

  • 12 years ago

    by End Of Eternity

    This one was so smooth. Loved the way you expressed it all while monitoring flow of words. So much of emotions has been released here, yet...everything was under control.
    Very nicely written.

    all the best and take care

  • 12 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    This poem grips at my heart.... truly an elegant and powerful piece, it flows and sings like a tearful song... well done~