OMG I suck at tankas but your word choice here is so very unique, the structure is somehow easy but not when applying it! I cant believe you managed to write a tanka with sucha flow and with such depth!
loved each single line, the choice of your wordds is so perfect and nailed.
title, VERY eye catchy!
I hate the feeling you were expressing, it hurts me the most, along with being used!.
This is lovely, i like the way you conveyed the message in a simple but ordered manner. The whole theme portrays unwillingness from an ingrate who's selfish, and doesn't regard anyones affections, toiling with their mind thus hurting them. A thoughtful piece, very short but entailing strong ideas. Keep them coming. Blessings :).
6 years ago
This is a tanka which I wouldn't have felt that it is a formed poetry... it went smoothly. lovely, Sarah.
Firstly, for such a short piece, you have written something with such a powerful meaning.
Secondly, your word choice is perfect. In writing, word choice is like king. Words like 'aggressively' and 'meaningless' add such power and emotion to this short piece of writing. Made it all that more enjoyable and relatable.
Thirdly, the emotion. This links to both my comments above, but you have expressed yourself perfectly with this piece that I thought it needed to be mentioned by itself specifically.
Everyone deserves to be heard, and here you have truly been heard loud and clear.
Well done, Sarah. 5/5
I like the expression of "chewing up words"... it gives an impression having fun with heard words. The use of words like "swallow", "taste" and "aggressively" reveals that the authors compares writing and hearing words and thoughts with process of having a meal. This is great resemblance. The aggressive behavior led to the end of finding nothing to say and hence to the stage of finding no pleasure. The title fits in place with the poem content.
I loved the word and form choice. It gave a unique type of writing poems.
Thank you for sharing this poem.
4 years ago
I love this poem a lot as it is true. The metaphor iherd is off the chart. This person stole your heart and gave it back to you into a million peices. You just used words instead of heart. But this truly is a great sad write. 5