Comments : On traveling to Hawaii

  • 12 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    I loved the simple serenity of this piece. It is truly beautiful and to imagine a paradise like Hawaii, and to feel the ocean and waves.......it could never be taken for granted! I also loved the closeness your poem made me feel. Although I may just be imagining, I have the tangibl scent near to me and the passion go to wherever we desire! We just have to relax and use our imagination a bit :P

    Great job!

  • 12 years ago

    by Melpomene

    Kay,*

    I've been really fascinated by scent lately, probably sounds odd but when we say hey this smells like lavender we instantly have an understanding of the scent however what exactly does lavender smell like? It's been titled lavender but what's lavender made up of? Weird of me I know, but what to say I'm an odd girl lol. Now back to the poem.

    I thought this was interesting, the prompt was to write about the scent of a candle and yet you managed to set the scene as well! I didn't expect to read a poem with such a beautiful destination entwined and because you did this you made the prompt come alive and allowed the audience to feel as though they were with you at this destination.

    Coconut is an amazing scent and one of my favourites so for you to include it I actually had an idea of the candle, what it would smell like. You managed to incorporate the senses of sight and smell.

    Did you notice the format of the poem shapes a candle?

    The fact that you were setting the scene of your living room, re-creating such a lovely place like that was amazing. You not only re-created the image of this place into our mind but you re-created it within the poem if that makes sense.

    Lovely piece, well done on rocking this prompt.

    -Mel