Red Carpet Thoughts

If i could find love then id be happy
that lie i tell my self over an over
i look at all the beutiful girls
an handsome guys an think to myslef
WHY
why must i stand out amongst them all
Why cant i find the love that will unthaw
unthaw my weary heart
an break the chains of pain
WHY
is it that i count 15.....15 new cuts
15 new knifes
an 1 bloody site
i can picture myself in the bathroom
laughing an screaming at death
while at the same time bleeding thro an thro
i can see that sick an twisted face
taking me to my grave
the 1 think i cnt see is that beutiful girl
or a handsome man
now i see a shiny pistol in my hand
i load that black round an say my prayers
for this young man shall never be spared....
FORGIVE ME FATHER FOR I HAVE SINNED I HAVE BATHED IN MY BLOOD WITH HATERED AN HERESY IN MY HEAD DMN ME TO HELL FOR THATS WERE I BELONG SINS OF THE UNWORTHY HAVE DAWNED AMEN