Comments : Fleeing Path(Tanka)

  • 6 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Ohhhh this tanka is beautiful... I love the flow and wording....very nice Sister!!

  • 6 years ago

    by Chelsey

    Im starting to love Tankas and Haikus when I use to not! This made me love them more! Perfect Perfect words here darling!

  • 6 years ago

    by Paul Gondwe

    Though am not that familiar with Tankas, this was amazing and beautiful, maybe i will try one myself, you are an inspiration.

  • 5 years ago

    by Nema

    This is AMAZING! :)

  • Blazing mania of
    stars, perish in winter spell,

    ^^
    WOW! Such amazing imagery here.
    I can just picture the stars being hidden by thick snow falling from the sky. Beautiful!

    piling up the trails
    treaded on, to seek for the

    ^^
    I believe this is a 'syllable count' necessary poem - so I can understand this, but I don't think 'treaded' is a word - I think it may simply be 'tread' --I'm not definite though.
    Great continuation from the first lines. (:

    embed flame that ignites sparks.

    ^^
    A brilliant ending - it kind of draws everything together:
    *stars - like little 'sparks' of light in the sky
    *winter - fire is needed for warmth
    _______________________________
    OVERALL;
    I really like this piece. Short but sweet and quite a depth for such a piece.
    Beautiful word choice - a clear image was created throughout. Well done!

    Stunning piece. 5/5