Comments : Everlasting Words

  • 5 years ago

    by L

    Haha.. Thank you!!!
    This was so sweet of you.
    I like the incorporation of some of the words of my poems in your poem and supposedly, I'm the thief of words haha XD

    She sat beneath
    her rose ice-cream tree
    quietly,
    patiently
    drowning her sadness in
    his brown or blue paradise;
    just as my
    Everlasting words sat
    at the tip of my tongue
    quietly,
    patiently
    waiting to be spoken.

    --- and there you go, as I sat quietly within my ice cream tree of roses while contemplating his brown or blue paradise, Xanthe's words were lingering at the tip of her tongue but she couldn't say them and I wanted to hear them so bad,

    I love what you did in this stanza.

    Alas!
    The caramel
    burnt her own tongue
    for lingering
    there too long.
    I gave her my spare cup
    but no water
    ran through
    to wash away the soreness.
    Instead,
    all she found was a
    cockroach.

    --- oh god, see.
    I got my tongue burnt, I wonder why? did I ate too much ice cream of roses? and so sweet of you to share your spare cup with me but no water in it? huh, just a cockroach... ahh, that is a nightmare. is the cockroach at least of candy?

    And now,
    she paints the breeze
    with words stolen
    from my own mouth
    because she has finally
    confessed
    to be the
    Thief of Words.

    -- haha, and I am the thief of words, lol.

    I so like what you did with the poem, I was not expecting to be burnt with the caramel but I guess for every bad action there is a bad action coming your way, haha.
    Karma. The message its really clear. Thank you!

    EDIT: Creative !!

  • 5 years ago

    by nourayasmine

    Ehahahahahahahaha!

    Edited: So I popped up here between the two of you hahaha. I was just wanting to say:

    AND ME!? :(

    • 5 years ago

      by Xanthe

      Noura... Didn't you read the cockroach?? haha kidding XD

  • 5 years ago

    by Xanthe

    ^hahahaha
    So turns out we're both thieves :D
    i'm glad you like it

  • 5 years ago

    by L

    Uhmm.. Noura,

    do you want to be a thief of words, too?
    in a playful way not like plagiarizing way..

    If so, then you are so part of this poem XD

  • 5 years ago

    by Dagmar Wilson

    One hand washes the other lol
    This is so sweet and funny

  • 5 years ago

    by nourayasmine

    I am a thief of words, too. Count me in, lol. And WHAT! What cockroach!?

    Jeezus. I am starting to have an insects phobia!

  • 5 years ago

    by Jenni

    Haha this really made me smile, very interesting write :P

  • 5 years ago

    by DarkLight

    U really gud..am luvin this

  • 5 years ago

    by Yrem Crish

    Haha! Speechless! I like this piece for mixing the thoughts about the stuffs of yours and Lucero.
    Kudos:)hehe
    5/5-C

  • 5 years ago

    by L

    Haha, I can't help but visit this poem.
    It makes me smile when I read it.

  • 5 years ago

    by Decayed

    LMAO :P hahahhahahah

    love the Battle of the Poetesses in this..

    and the part of 'caramel' burning Luce's tongue was amazing! haha

  • 5 years ago

    by Ms Happiness

    Looooooool thats funny, I love it:)
    I agree with Abed I also love the part of the caramel:)

  • 5 years ago

    by Xanthe

    :D

  • 5 years ago

    by Lioness

    I can see Luce in this piece! Awesome write!!!

    x

  • 5 years ago

    by Randy East

    Lol... funny to see fellow poets on the site engaged like this.

  • 5 years ago

    by Blissful

    How clever! I liked how you structured this piece with the line breaks and punctuation. This was a personal dedication to someone that everybody can enjoy because it was crafted so beautifully.

    "The caramel
    burnt her own tongue
    for lingering
    there too long."
    ^ I really like the image this left in my mind...great use of "caramel"

    This was a lovely piece, nicely done!

  • 10 months ago

    by hiraeth

    Four years later, and I can still see Luce in this poem. :)

  • 7 months ago

    by Everlasting

    Lol , i remember the poems that this piece is including. I have them stored somewhere in my laptop.
    Good memories.
    I wish you stop by to at least say hello