Comments : Our Universe Awoke

  • 5 years ago

    by Karla

    The last stnza is so enchnting. Amazing piece.

  • 5 years ago

    by L

    I'm really surprised, that I have the feeling that you are really into science yet you are a believer.

    I liked this poem, Faith and Hope are not the same, and I liked that you used faith instead of hope since for me faith is stronger than hope, faith is believing, trusting completely, Him.

    for He is faith, trust worthy.

    5/5

  • 5 years ago

    by Ingrid de Klerck

    Great poem and all of it is true:)

    Have you ever read about the Intelligent Design Movement?

    I have some info, if ou care to read: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Intelligent_design_movement

    Well done,

    5/5 Ingrid

  • 5 years ago

    by Purple Rose

    Typos: In the last stanza, third and fourth lines, the 'h' in the 'he's' should be capitalized because you are still talking about God, if you are not , then completely ignore me :) Also, as an afterthought, I wouldn't have 'Our' capitalized in the last stanza, but maybe you are putting some emphasis on it? I am just trying to help :) it is your poem, so you do what you want to with it...

    I really, really like this poem Randy. It is beautiful. I like how you used the parables about the mustard seed, and the story of Moses.

    The flow was really good, and so was the rhyming.

    Excellent
    5/5

  • 5 years ago

    by Dagmar Wilson

    Reading your poem gives me such peace
    at heart.

  • 5 years ago

    by Robert Gardiner

    Exquisite Randy!!!

  • 5 years ago

    by Brittany Ottmo

    Wow! I am amazed at how you view Him. I am a person that never once believed in religion. But there is NO doubt in my head that HE is up there. I never would have made it this far in my life if it wasn't for Him!

    This is an amazing poem and you did very well! The title is what caught my eye, and then the rest kept me going!

    5/5

  • 5 years ago

    by Amreen

    Firstly, a factual piece... I just loved every bit of it... And I like your poems on life as they hold true... Keep writing(:

  • 4 years ago

    by Suzanne

    Hi Randy, these are interesting thoughts and you formed the poem well.

    I am going to illustrate what could happen with come compression, removing some of the linking pieces.

    I hope this makes some sense. Compression pares the ideas down to their core strength and adds mystery.

    We Awoke

    All are alive because of faith,
    our ability to feel a gift from
    The Astonishingly Great.
    In his hands we are made real.

    Faith small as a mustard seed,
    brings great change.

    Small as a seed, we can move
    or part the sea.

    Perfect faith created "IT ALL",
    and keeps "IT ALL" intact.
    In perfect faith, we move and act.

    What He believed, He spoke.
    And when He spoke His word,
    we awoke to our existence,
    we pushed up through the white soil
    of divinity. or white soil of grace.

    I am in a masters program for poetry writing.

  • 4 years ago

    by Randy East

    I'm sorry, that's just not my style. I like rhyme in my poetry, and tangible thoughts that fit together. Not the compressed mystery that your style proposes, I like your added lines in the end though, not necessarily for this poem tho.
    pushing up through the white soil of divinity, love that!!

  • 4 years ago

    by Ducky

    I love it! 5/5

  • 4 years ago

    by Kips

    Wow!! Powerful work! I love this, especially the last part.

    "Such great faith His plan did have,
    for what He believed... He spoke.
    And in that beginning, when he spoke the word,

    our existence then awoke."