Comments : Marbles & Miracles

  • 5 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    Read this a few hours ago and I will be back to comment soon this hour! Just wanted to leave a more thought out comment, but I can't get over how much I love reading your poetry. This one I just couldn't stop reading...

  • 5 years ago

    by Chelsey

    Xanthe....sweetheart, you have amaazzinnng talent that Im jealous of! seriously...amazing.

    I fell in love with this piece as I read it when you posted it for the challenge. Your opening stanza is so beautiful, and to be honest, after that its just pure brilliance...

    You did such a great job with your prompt. love this!

  • 5 years ago

    by Dagmar Wilson

    Beautiful written and very meaningful

  • 5 years ago

    by LittleMermaid

    All i can say is,this is a really really nice poem.....i've always loved your poem..u write so elegant n so matured thoughts..
    Best wishes with it!
    *_*

  • 5 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    First, I wanted to say I love the title! I love when poets tie two objects or ideas in their title and then show it in their poem, that connection. I've done it myself to, I just thought it was captivating and made me want to see what thoughts you were writing across.

    Second, I like how you centered your poem....you had a great format and I truly enjoyed how flawless it read, and how much meaning I found from it.

    "Sometimes I ensconce
    myself on the palm of raw
    earth just to abscond from
    consciousness."

    - I love reading "palm" instead of "hand" at times, lovely wording to instead of just saying you are hiding yourself away. The image was very abstract for me here, but I got that feeling you are going back on something, remembering or relying on someone so as to no focus on your own life at the time.

    "And each time, I awaken
    to marbles of my childhood
    suspended silently high
    above my head.

    I thirst to touch them
    as they twinkle -
    teasing me to just
    try.

    (Something I've given up on.)"

    Here I was thinking of marble as being a sculpture of some substance, in this case your childhood. Or of course you could have meant marbles as the game, I'm not sure. That alluring thought to try is great, makes me wonder why you had given up or the reason you no longer are following what you want to do.

    ---

    "I've been searching
    for miracles
    within the heavens;
    trying to look
    beyond swirled ribbons
    of my past."

    - So simple here, you have such a timeless pen! It has such an ease to it yet just with these few words a line it shares a deal of wisdom. How many times do we want to move from our past? Or think that we are capable to do it?

    "Grey clouds
    momentarily coloured
    my life, but I've learnt
    to wait and try again."

    - Beautiful beautiful...your wording is so graceful here, yet I feel this is all I need to find that inspiration.

    ---

    "Tonight, I finally watch
    the clouds blow over and
    everything else is left

    in the past."

    Great ending, didn't come too soon or too slow. Love how you break the stanzas done and use the dashes as well. Can't wait to read more of your poetry, I thoroughly enjoyed this and I found something here that really makes your soul shine, it was encouraging and will probably touch other people's thoughts as well. Thanks for sharing Xanthe :] Keep it up

  • 5 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    I really liked this one, I was worried for you when I saw what your prompt was, but then I think you could pull anything off with your talent.

    This was very amazing and I really enjoy reading this.

  • 5 years ago

    by Hellon

    Ok...you have drawn lines to seperate your thoughts here I feel?

    Sometimes I ensconce
    myself on the palm of raw
    earth just to abscond from
    consciousness.

    ^^^

    I'm not sure if I have the same meaning as your train of thoughts but...sometimes I just get out in my garden and get back to basics...we are what we put into the soil?

    And each time, I awaken
    to marbles of my childhood
    suspended silently high
    above my head.

    ^^^

    To be honest not sure of this stanza but my interpretation..there are memories buried there...somewhere and...each time you go back to the soil you find another?

    I thirst to touch them
    as they twinkle -
    teasing me to just
    try.

    (Something I've given up on.)

    and yet...you have given up on the notion for some reason...unexplained.

    ---

    I've been searching
    for miracles
    within the heavens;
    trying to look
    beyond swirled ribbons
    of my past.

    Grey clouds
    momentarily coloured
    my life, but I've learnt
    to wait and try again.

    Looking for something more...never finding it and yet...still you search?

    ---

    Tonight, I finally watch
    the clouds blow over and
    everything else is left

    in the past

    Over it all by now but....are you? My opinion is no...not yet?

    just my thoughts but...your poetry makes my think and that's why I like it!

  • 5 years ago

    by Axelle

    This is a beautiful poem, Xanthe, and a little different than what I thought it would be :] I first thought what type of poem can be about marbles and miracles? It is an odd combination, but you wrote it beautifully (again!). I believe that this is for the bag challenge that Andrea hosted? You chose miscellaneous, if I remember correctly. Amazing what comes out of your head...

    'Sometimes I ensconce
    myself on the palm of raw
    earth just to abscond from
    consciousness.'

    ^ The person (or persona) does not like to be conscious? I don't either :P Usually that means that they like to have an escape for something so that they don't have to look at it, or something. They just don't want to be in the real world due to something that bothers them, which is very acceptable (for me anyway). Some people have to step back and think what to do while others just rush head long into it, or maybe they just don't want to deal with it. It is a very interesting beginning...a lot of alternatives as to why the persona wants to 'abscond from consciousness.'

    'And each time, I awaken
    to marbles of my childhood
    suspended silently high
    above my head.'

    ^ I have never imagined childhood memories in marbles. It is such an odd picture, yet a charming one at the same time. I like it :)

    'I thirst to touch them
    as they twinkle -
    teasing me to just
    try.

    (Something I've given up on.)'

    ^ You always have a tinge of sadness in your poems, Xanthe. It makes me sad whenever I read them, because I don't really understand where it is all coming from. I mean, I do a little, but yet not at the same time :( I think that there is a lot more to your character...but I know that some things are better left alone.

    'I've been searching
    for miracles
    within the heavens;
    trying to look
    beyond swirled ribbons
    of my past.'

    ^ This is a beautiful stanza. I have to say that I think it is a magical one, because of the imagery that you put here. 'Trying to look beyond swirled ribbons of my past' is my favorite line(s), and the top part comes in close second. I just love all of it...makes me wonder quite a bit.

    'Tonight, I finally watch
    the clouds blow over and
    everything else is left

    in the past.'

    ^ This is a beautiful ending to a beautiful poem. It leaves the reader quite happy for the persona, because they know that the person will not give up :) Uplifting, I guess. So beautiful. I have also noticed that you separated 'in the past' from the rest of the stanza. I was wondering why you did that, and I imagine that it means something? Maybe you separated it so much because you wanted to symbolize that it was forgotten? I don't know, only you do since you are the one who wrote it :)

    Overall, a very beautiful poem. I think that this can go in a number of sections, not just miscellaneous, but I understand why you put it here. It can fit in the sadness section, and the life section (in the inspirational part, I think).
    I like how you used the marbles in this poem, because I never thought of it that way before. Your imagery was astounding, and the metaphors amazing as always. Excellent, Xanthe. Pure brilliance...

    Excellent
    5/5

    I know, I know. I am getting to them, so don't be pushy! :P I have already rated this before I commented, so don't think I didn't! :)

    ~S

  • 5 years ago

    by Yakari Gabriel

    You are seriously so incredibly talented. my god