I do like when people put buildings in their poetry....haven't seen this one but I have looked at pictures of it...the rocket launchers made me smile and I sometimes wonder hat architects back then were thinking.....mind you when I look at new structures I really have to scratch my head!
Anyway...I don't think there was a female involved in this at all...think it was dedicaled to this weird building....just my thoughts....
I thought I commented on this but remembered, I only voted and forgot to come back to it! Crap!...well here I am and CONGRATS ON THE WIN! This was amazing. . Colm, the scene you created here, (and I say scene meaning a movie because it was totally a movie in my head), was breath taking really. Interesting point of view Hellon had, when I read it for the 3rd time, I. Can see what she's saying about the building, which makes this poem so cool and abstract. But the scene in my head was about a female.
Titanic is my all time very movie, everyone knows I'm obssessed with it, so the touch about her sitting like a wax model, sipping scotch, *sigh*...all I heard was Celine Dions song playing from the movie for the rest of my time reading it.
Your details here are what make this poem come alive. Truly, poetic "stories" are simply the best IMO when they have an overwhelming amount of detail. Which is why this is the best, and why it won! Excellent job!!
The vivid imagery you have used is wonderful. I absolutely love that. Where the scene is set and you can feel everything the reader is writing. You have done an awesome job with this
5 years ago
I don't know how many times I have read this. It's beautiful, so artistic. Yet, I honestly cannot make up my mind concerning the correct interpretation. It's okay with me to just enjoy it. Maybe I can understand it more later, as I delve further.
Colm this is so beautiful, and I'm so happy it won! I get the email notifications about the PnQ weekly winners, and I was sitting in my English class reading this at the end of the day.....it moves me beyond words. This is the kind of poetry that just has it's own style, it's own language that seems to I don't know, be like liquid to the heart. I just take it all in. The imagery in the beginning is captivating and extraordinarily artistic.... I also love all your allusions...they just play with the senses and incorporate that maybe this woman holds, how she could have been that serenity of the past. The end is mysterious to me- it gives me the picture that you have taken the time to watch this woman, write about her each evening until you forget why you even came there....it's like she exudes stories, silence that still makes you want to come back and be in her presence.
Gorgeous, congrats on the win :)
5 years ago
A beautiful poem. I adore the vocabulary, and the imagery is just so lovely. Congrats!
I can't express enough about how much I admire this piece.
When I read the title of this piece, I was swept away, for In my mind I felt like the author was talking about the La Sagrada Familia, the temple in Barcelona, and in a very unique and creative form of expression, he leads me on to feel like it was a metaphor of a lady... All through out this piece I was taken away, visualizing the temple as a lady... it was really a captivating piece! Another thing I really loved, was the word "gaudy" .... Because the temple was created by Gaudi . Maybe the author didn't mean for that to be a similarity but that is the way I took it and that is what hooked me on this poem... one of the reasons anyway...
I can't stop talking about this piece for its structure is so technically sound and truly brilliant.. The word usage and metaphors was to die for... hands down one of my favorite poems of the year! Beautiful!!
I just came across this poem after reading it months ago. I have a personal affinity for the piece as it brings back memories like a perfect snapshot of La Rambla at night in Barcelona. I can see the souvenir salesmen & waiters hustling the crowds, the pizzerias set up al fresco with dozens of tables between the north & south bound lanes and waiters rushing across the street to the restaurants along the road.
I believe I can even picture your Senorita, haughty yet jaded, sitting alone yet exuding allure, while the shy young man simply wants to bask in her aura.
I think I finally figured out why I like your work so much. You don't write like you're trying to create a poem, you write like you're midway through telling a story. The start to this piece, for instance, could be put into paragraphs and easily inserted into a setting description of some novel or short story. There's a quality to the style that makes it so accessible and recognizable. I can smell her perfume and see those vintage cigarettes.
Anyway, this is a good one. I wouldn't try to choose which parts exactly because I'd just end up citing the whole poem, you're going to have to settle for the rambling above instead.