The pocket watch

[Weekly Contest Comment: 3/11/13]

This was a very heart-warming write where I felt and was moved by the poet's character in every line. Bringing in this grandfather and the affect his legacy had on this poet is something that is not only understand by him but me as well. In those two lines at the beginning, middle, and end of this poem, the grandfather speaks words of wisdom that are meant to be lived out. The message is clear and covers a lot of principles to think about...not only living each day like it's our last or making every second count but also realizing the many possibilites we have in this life. Days change just like our plans to but the best we can do is keep that pocket watch close to our hearts as a reminder to be the best we can be and reach out to others. Very meaningful poem!

This is very good.

This is such an inspirational piece, Tony! It's very heartfelt and thought provoking.

I love the quotes, and how it has a story feel to it, but is somewhat short. I like how you can put so much emotion and imagery in so few lines when some people it would take a book to come off with the same message.

Lovely write with a great message!

I really love this!

"Time is one thing you can never put a time on".

The opening statement set up a fine tone that makes you want to get to the end of the piece. Good attention getter.

"
I remember, years before technology
something my grandfather once shared.

With a smile planted firmly on his face
he placed a pocket watch tightly
In my grasp -

"This is your life, until you hear
that final tick,anything is possible". "

I don't know how long ago this was, but you just shared a very interesting and inspirational story in precisely and concisely in three short stanzas! It's like I could picture the event taking place in my mind's eyes. More like a movie. :)

"
Years past and suddenly I was alone,
not once did I reveal the time I had
left wether it be years,months,even days.

Since that day, I've never let anyone
go a second without reminding them
how special they are to me.

You get one chance to live life,never
waste a single moment because
tomorrow isn't written in
permanent ink. ""

Suddenly you pulled me along (and I believe many other readers) and walked us through your livelihood from that moment when your grandfather placed your "life" in your hand. Now that was another story that I could picture. Another part in the Movie "The Pocket Watch" by you. :)

Btw, "wether" should be "whether" instead. :)
"If you could see how much time
you had left, would you really
want to know"?.

I just wanted to get to this part and finally I did. I tell you what, your opening sentence was beautiful, but this ending part was adorned with excellence and perfection. A very good place and way to end.

When I read the opening statement I was expecting a fine finish, and you didn't disappoint. In fact, I've got something to take away from this: A thought of a "lifetime."

Haha...I just combined 'life' and 'time' together! Your piece is that beautiful. Keep writing!

"Time is one thing you can
never put a time on".

- love the opening quote - it is very deep and true and makes you think of how precious it is.
This gives me the idea your poem will be deep and personal.

I remember, years before technology
something my grandfather once shared.

With a smile planted firmly on his face
he placed a pocket watch tightly
In my grasp -

"This is your life, until you hear
that final tick,anything is possible".

- I think you done well to add technology into the poem because it shows how long ago this took place. Back when pocket watches were traditionally passed down from families to the next generation. Again I like the quote, it is very deep and makes you think.

Years past and suddenly I was alone,
not once did I reveal the time I had
left wether it be years,months,even days.

- past* should be passed becaused you are saying the years passed by. and wether* should be whether. I think you could make this more powerful by adding the word "or" between months and even. So you list how long you could have left but then end it with " or even days" But that is just my opinion it is not an error.

Since that day, I've never let anyone
go a second without reminding them
how special they are to me.

- I love this - it shows that sometimes we forget what really matters in life and we fall into a habit of expecting people to know we love them and we do not tell them as often as we should.

You get one chance to live life,never
waste a single moment because
tomorrow isn't written in
permanent ink.

- love love love the idea of permanent ink representing that tomorrow will not be garanteed. Quite motivational stanza and encouraging to make the most of what we have when we have it.

"If you could see how much time
you had left, would you really
want to know"?.

- I really like the question on the end, it makes every reader think of their own answer, but then also what the authors answer is too. I presonally do not know the answer for me, it is so deep and would consider a lot of thinking!!

Excellent creativity in the poem, mixing something personal into a very deep thinking poem about life.

Well done