Comments : At Peace in a Poem

  • 3 years ago

    by Dancing Rivers

    This poem is beautiful Andrea, but there is so much sadness in it, and in your other more recently posted poems, it makes me wonder what sorrows could plague a soul as wonderful as yours...

    This poem is different from others if yours that I've seen, it is very simple and open, the words are laid down as is, as though you wrote them down in a desperate flurry of emotion, as though you were forced to write or you would not breathe.as usual there is strong emotion in this piece, but in this the emotions are sad and lacklustre, almost forlorn, with a hint of resignation, desperate resignation....

  • 3 years ago

    by Everlasting

    Every poem that I'm reading I just node.

    Sorry, I'm not much in the commenting mode but thanks for writing

  • 2 years ago

    by The Fairy Mary Poppins

    I have feelings stuck in my throat.

    Nothing poetic about feelings
    if I can't mix them up into
    metaphorical analogies.
    ^
    I love the first line since it tells you what's going on and then first stanza is an explanation of the problem and quite nice to read, it flows nicely and I love that it's just blunt and I don't have to read it over and try to find a meaning behind it's just there. Although the mixing reminds me of cooking and I guess you can be a metaphor of poetry since you get the ingrediants and follow the instructions or use your own way and viola you had food same with poetry get the ingrediants and I guess it is: pencil,pen,paper, laptop, and your mind to open up to poetry, make the poem and post it or finish it and there you go you have a poem

    I've got sadness draining
    my eyes today.
    This heart has known
    disappointment far more
    than I care to write about-
    ^
    Ah this stanza is very relatable to everyone espcially myself and sometimes I can write about the sorrow in my life and sometimes I can't and I hold it in. Like I said very relatable and very true to every poet, writter, and song writer.

    and yet here I am in this
    tiny little corner of my world,
    writing.

    Is this what I have become?

    Old, bitter and silent?
    ^
    This is a deep nightmare for me I can handle having 50 cats in the future with no husband no children, but I couldn't wish for a nightmare where my life is just my poetry, and Andrea these lines make me wonder what exactly life is. Nice stanza and I got to look at myself deep inside to find out if I am turning into this person you wrote in your poem

    Forced to take medication
    to regulate my smile?

    I have lost control of my life
    and these hands of mine ache
    as I pen darkness.
    ^
    O I know I can relate to this entire poem but especially to this stana? I have had to do that I had to have depression pills to keep my smile in check I couldn't smile on my own without those stupid pills some days I can't even smile but I smile for others. This stanza cuts to the heart of who I am now and I understand the last line in the two (one?) stanza.

    There is a cycle within me
    where the wheel keeps on
    rotating and I scream for
    it to stop.

    I'm getting older
    and these tears
    of years
    are just sorrows
    of yesterday...

    I've got to stop writing
    for today or I will surely
    die in a poem.

    Dying in poetry?
    Now that is peace,
    pure poetic peace....
    ^
    These last stanzas I can't go one by one because like I did before they bring sorrow to my heart and make doubt my own life, with those words being said I will say that this poem and these last stanzas are beautiful and well written they bring emotion to the reader and it's a shame that this poem didn't win for the weekly contest (much to my regret) since this has so much emotion and value. My favorite stanza of all is The third to the last since I can feel it in my heart just reaching out for that stanza. Great job Andrea 5/5

    -Mori

  • 2 years ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    The cliché of depression is the base of this poem, but the author has managed to create new ways of describing how this illness can affect the human mind. The poem shows one person's mind becoming uncontrollable, almost feeling mad with lack of control about the emotions, but it also raises the outlets of such emotions within poetry. The direction of the poem seems to be narrated to the author themselves, almost keeping note of ones mental state and progress within that state, wondering how much the medication would truly help or change the emotions which the author clearly struggles to hold back. A very emotional write which shows the therapy poetry can be as an outlet. Very moving words.