Comments : Rice Paper

  • 3 years ago

    by Alexis

    Love the last line.

  • 3 years ago

    by BlueJay

    This is a very well penned piece and it definitely gets the point across easily and simply. Definitely left me reading again and again. Wonderfully written

  • 3 years ago

    by Poet on the Piano

    This poem stood out to me and I'm glad to see it on the front page! I find it sometimes hard (personally) to work with brevity but I think it depends on what the poem, what those words are calling for. From some reason, the repetition of "go quietly" made me think of "do not go gentle into that good night" by Dylan Thomas. Great verb choice and I'm still pondering the meaning. It seems almost abstract to me? The first few lines I do imagine a dog, tail tucked in, head lowered, meaning maybe a love who has given up hope and has no more confidence in their voice? So they stay silent, travel home and you can offer that protection. The line of "spin me tunnels full of travels," gives me the picture of a young, innocent woman telling stories, using their imagination, writing fantasy and trying to find a reason to live again. That last line especially, writing this as the father?

    • 3 years ago

      by Kevin

      You are quiet the observant and insightful one aren't you! This poem is about my lover and a bit of a bad patch she went through emotionally that had nothing to do with me. I had to watch her sneak around trying to avoid emotional contact and support from me.

      The last about "I'm not your boy but you my daughter" is really about how, the further she slipped into a depression the less like her lover and partner I felt and the more like her care giver.

      Thankyou for the amazing comment.

  • 3 years ago

    by Meena Krish

    Within this piece there is a lot to think about. I got an image of a child running around playing while the mother is watching her lost in her thoughts. The imagery is so alive in the first half of the poem.

    But the last line is what got me...to see this from a father's point of view...really touching yet there is a hidden tenderness in that firmness.

    Congrats on the win!

  • 3 years ago

    by sammiej

    Brilliant

  • 3 years ago

    by silvershoes

    What sam said. Brilliant.

  • 3 years ago

    by Maple Tree

    Judging Comment:

    Kevin deserves to be highlighted this week with his masterminded poem!

    Let's start out with the title for starters: Rice Paper- It's thin, very thin... speak quietly, things can be heard.. Now my interpretation of this piece may be way off but it's how the reader takes and gets out of it. There are so many angles this piece can go and be taken and in a small poem, that is not easily done, which is why I highlighted this poem.

    Truly a mind boggle of a piece. I admire poems like this!
    You can speak riddles but try not to be heard. Ignorance of society
    Is another message that is intertwining this well written piece for me.

    It reminds me of judgmental relationships. Judging another while sneaking silently in the background. Love thy neighbor? See this is why I really admired this piece because of all the angles this poem took me and that is a true, power packed small poem and how it should be!

    Well done Kevin!!