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Very good, the rhymes and a few other things may still need some work but I love what you are doing with your writing. Keep writing. This was a Contemplative write. I like it.
by Mihir Deshmukh
Thank you !
by La Reina De Corazones
The story was nice to read, I did think it was forced at times and I really enjoy free verse it's so much more easier to read and to get and to enjoy 4/5