Comments : Diamond Studded Tomb

  • 1 year ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Meena
    What a wonderful poem about the lure of a spider!

    The first stanza almost had me fooled, simply because of the wonderful personification you have employed and - coupled with the title - I thought the piece was about a temptress:
    "a mystical land she creates with her legs attracting many without having to beg."
    ^^^^^^

    This is almost sensual and certainly seductive so I had in mind a woman to begin with, but I had my suspicions. The flawless rhyme drew me in here, by the way - no surprise there!

    "Her bed of diamonds glisten in morning dew"
    ^^^^^

    What wonderful imagery here, Meena; I have always loved the beauty of a spider's web in the morning when the sunlight bounces off the fresh dew - it is one of nature's wonders.
    A more sinister feel to the second stanza, as the telling moment draws ever nearer. Words such as 'lures' and 'trap' are key here, I feel.

    Then the 'killing strike' of the third stanza. The prey is caught and struggles to get free, but silently succumbs to the 'dame's' deathly poison. And how well described; watching a spider dispatch its prey is terrifying in its silence and almost peace! No sound accompanies the horror that is unfolding...

    Then the wonderful closing two lines. All creatures (including us) tend to walk blindly into beauty - in this case, a web - without stopping to take stock of the true picture.

    The way you have described the spider, personifying it as a woman who lures its prey, is wonderful and - as above - the rhyme throughout is wonderful. Nominated.

    All the very best, Meena and I hope you are well,
    Ben

  • 1 year ago

    by Cindy

    Meena
    Wow! What a excellent poem. The spider sits silently waiting for it's prey. The web's do sparkle like diamonds..especially after the rain and the sun then shines on them..
    Great job!
    Take care
    Cindy
    *big hugs

  • 1 year ago

    by Ben Pickard

    Well done on the win, Meena - much deserved.

  • 1 year ago

    by Everlasting

    This poem sounds familiar! I like it. It reads smoothly and the rhymes sound unforced. The imagery is also incredible. Well done on this one Meena

  • 1 year ago

    by Cindy

    Meena congratulations on your win...your poem is awesome.
    *big hugs
    Love Cindy

  • 1 year ago

    by debbylyn

    Congratulations on the win! Beautiful metaphors and imagery! I love the perfect rhyming and flow in this beautiful nature gem!

  • 1 year ago

    by PETER EDWARDS

    Meena
    This is an excellent write and epitomises the spider perfectly, leisurely waiting for its dinner.
    I love rhyming poems and yours is a good example.
    Well penned!

  • 1 year ago

    by alka mendiratta

    Congratulations on this awesome piece.........well deserved.

  • 1 year ago

    by stormingdance (Jessica)

    Congrats on the win! Your poem is lovely - I love how you can "weave" a story! :)

  • 1 year ago

    by Baby Rainbow

    Delicate strands of life she weaves
    symmetrical shape of beauty deceives,
    a mystical land she creates with her legs
    attracting many without having to beg;

    - this is amazingly worded, the flow and rhyme kick the poem off to a beautiful start, and also quite an addictive tone that the reader just can't help but continue to read. Your descriptions are subtle but add a lot to the scene.

    Her bed of diamonds glisten in morning dew
    captivates and lures unsuspecting few,
    spellbound they blindly walk into her trap
    while she calmly waits above taking a nap;

    - love the diamonds being the rain drops or dew drops, very unique little imagery there, also like how innocent this Spider seems, and how easy life seems to be for her. I also think you are talented for showing imagery instead of just explaining and rambling... like I do!!

    As prey struggles to free from web of death
    presence of its captivator seizes its breath,
    within this mystical land, death silently takes claim
    none hears the cry of stings induced by this dame;

    -- okay -- kind of creepy, kind of reminded me of Maple, but also very well worded lol! "The cry of stings" is an incredible line to add here at this point, well done!

    Her exquisite lair is every creatures' doom,
    a beautiful diamond studded tomb.

    - lovely way to tie the title to the poem, and a very fitting one too, this is so unique and creative, and I had never thought of a web before like this, but I can totally see everything as you described it and why you have seen these views.

  • 1 year ago

    by Maple Tree

    Judging comments

    this poem is elegant and magical!

    Beautiful nature poem by Meena this week!
    I was blown away with its magical and elegant flow.

    To make a spider and her web enchanting is not an easy task to undertake.

    Just a breathtaking piece!

  • 1 year ago

    by William Mae

    Excellent poetry, web of death, each victim fulfilling the cause of the master weaver.

  • 1 year ago

    by Milly Hayward

    I just came across this beautifully written poem. It conjours up such strong and vivid imagery I can understand very well how it became a win for you