Comments : Kata

  • 2 years ago

    by Narph

    "The exasperated sigh of a father is not like other men's."

    Absolutely. Absolutely. In my life, at least, trying to earn my father's respect or recognition is such a weird battle of wanting and never feeling satisfied. And that looming edge of disappointment/exasperation is crushing. It's weird, really, that it would be particular to fathers, when you'd think we'd just get over it already. Must be a socially ingrained thing.

    Love that you started strong with that line, and brought it back later on.
    Also I see what you were doing, craft-wise, in tying together the physical aspects and violence of aikido with the emotional/physical reactions of your relationship. I think the line "My stomach clenches like a fist/ when
    I watch your students mimic your motions" is the most poignant in that. You built the poem up to that line, hinting at it, and then finally made your own body into the weapon. Really well done Jane.
    And the last line, of course. I'm a little bit in awe of you for that last line. <3

  • 2 years ago

    by hiraeth

    Judging comment:

    This piece is dripping in strong imagery and narrative.There's so many verses from this poem that stuck with me, such as 'The exasperated sigh of a father is not like other men's.', 'pain that bites chunks out of my heart, and /eats away my self-esteem. Beautiful piece.

  • 2 years ago

    by nourayasmine

    Congratulations, my favourite poet. <3

    • 2 years ago

      by silvershoes

      And you are one of mine, my love.

  • 2 years ago

    by Milly Hayward

    There is so much that I like about this poem, the imagery is wonderful. My favourite part is "unwrap the layers of strength I've webbed around
    my feebleness".

  • 2 years ago

    by Abed

    I love it.

  • 1 year ago

    by mossgirl19

    This is splendid Jane and a heart-gripping one! Wow, another great write!