And It's You All along (Senryu)

by Golden AnGel Rhapsodist   Oct 12, 2016


My biggest mistake
Was when I said I love you
To my Universe.

5


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Latest Comments

  • 7 years ago

    by Milly Hayward

    I liked this very much and it was my understanding that To my universe meant the man who you considered your universe.

    So much can be read into those three simple yet emotionally complex lines. An excellent Senryu

    Milly x

  • 7 years ago

    by deeplydesturbed

    Well done Gel!
    Excellent work! Isn't is sad when we make someone our whole universe and they make decisions which in turn have us question ourselves!

    I hope it all works out and you no longer see it as a mistake, but the greatest thing you could do..

    • 7 years ago

      by Golden AnGel Rhapsodist

      Naomi,

      And your Universe is looking for another Universe. .ouch. ..
      Thanks for the comment

  • 7 years ago

    by Brenda

    Amen to that statement! This packs a lot of power in those few words, well done-

  • 7 years ago

    by ether

    This is so sweet, and a perfectly executed form.
    However, I interpreted it differently to what you meant by this. So my first thought was to agree with Em's comment.

    My interpretation of this piece is that you regretted throwing your love out in to the literal universe. Perhaps capitalising "Universe" or saying "my universe" rather then "the universe" would get rid of the minor confusion. Just a thought.

    Regardless, this is a precious peace and well worth a 5/5!

    • 7 years ago

      by Golden AnGel Rhapsodist

      Hi Ether,

      I will take your suggestion to avoid confusion. .Thank you for this. ..

      smile and hugs

      Gel

  • 7 years ago

    by Em

    Gel. I like this and its got a powerful message behind it. I think if we ll loved the universe, earth etc then we wouldn't go far wrong.

    Em

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