Comments : Those Windy Days That Swirl Us With Love

  • 9 months ago

    by - Mr. Darcy

    Lucero, I thought I was going to read a sonnet. The first line had all the markers, but then it trailed...

    Maybe, like love, the breeze blew the beat away from the poem, leaving bare branches with just a few sparse endearments hanging there. Perhaps, come Autumn the iambic love will fall with wild abandon?

    A lovely write as usual.

    take care,

    Michael x

    • 9 months ago

      by Everlasting

      Haha I trick ya!

      I might write a sonnet for you though.

  • 9 months ago

    by Em

    Luce, as always this is a unique write with so much that I get from it after each read and though it's unique it's very, very relatable to many of us.

    Title - what an interesting title and at first I thought it was going to be about finding love in winter (because of the wind) but how wrong was I? This is what I like about your work because the titles are always related to the context but throw us off the scent a little so well done on this alone.

    1/ This is beautiful, the imagery of leaves falling with broken hearts now swirling with love, I guess because of the windy days? Maybe the leaves are representing people with broken hearts twirling again in love or maybe they are just representing themselves. I do not know.

    2/ Again, wonderful imagery here of leaves being attached to their home still falling peacefully yet tragically in love maybe it's because they know exactly what love entails and they've had heart ache before so they are wary to fall in love again? Then bam... You link the leaves to yourself falling in love, I like how you do this so elegantly.

    3/ Lovely imagery again of winds swirling you to your lovers arms.. And it makes me wonder is it the winds or the arms that are gentle yet squall like? By the way I love that word. Such a beautiful ending of wonder about what the future holds for you and your lover.

    I do have a suggestion for the last 2 lines though as you've used if twice and to me it throws the piece off a little (only my opinion) and that is to use 'whether' in place of the second if, your choice though.

    A fantastic piece as always,
    Em

    • 9 months ago

      by Everlasting

      I like what you are doing Em, always keep thinking and wondering and pondering

      Thanks for the suggestion.

  • 9 months ago

    by Beautiful Tragedy

    Omg. This is an amazing write!! Ah!!
    Such beautiful rythym and flow here. Great job!!!

  • 9 months ago

    by Brenda

    A lovely write, your visuals are so lush, well done-

  • 9 months ago

    by NightFlyer

    Nice imagery of the falling Autumn leaves as symbols of the uncertainty in life and relationships.Well done!

  • 9 months ago

    by Augustus Black

    Wow! I think this is very sweet and gentle write. You have done this very astoundingly, I feel the great rhythm of love in every lines. The season of autumn is truly unique, it bring loving people together again. I like they way you have constructed your fall with the falling of leaves.

    Last stanza:
    I feel the hope of love that it will come again in the season of autumn from the west to take you all the way to his kingdom. How beautiful this write. All the best.

  • 9 months ago

    by Golden AnGel Rhapsodist

    Nice love poem with a nature theme

    my favourite lines

    I wonder if within the future to come
    whether I'll still fall for you
    all over again when autumn comes.

    Ahhhh felt so right. ...

    5/5
    Gel