Let us start over

by Rei Severs   Sep 30, 2017

I'm sorry that I lost it,
That control that held us close,
Ended up withering and dying,
as I hurt you the most.

MY bitter words, my vengeful tongue,
that spits, spills, hurts and twists,
I'm sorry that time I yelled at you,
Threw you down, pinned by the wrists.

I hold all this in, and it hurts me baby,
To do these things to you,
I want to get over the pain you inflicted,
But this is hard to do.

I'm sorry my monster comes out, and hurls razors at your heart,
we need to begin again, forget and have a fresh start.
However, hurt will always stay, falter, then will hinder,
We wish to move on, stay strong, but the hurt and pain still lingers.

The animal inside of me, this sickness grabbed you by the throat,
You begged and pleaded with me, but for some reason I couldn't let go.
Every bruise we place on each other,
a mark of our own territory,
Why do we hurt one another?
Why is our love a horror story?

"I'm sick" I share, but never tell you I'm sick in love,
Sick of crying, sick of dying, sick of the push and shove.
Walls go up, stronger, higher, made of bricks and mortar,
I build them higher to stop this dam, inside me that ends with water.

Water down cheeks, red tinted water down limbs, down nose..down thighs.
It always ends...with a compromise.
We hurt each other, because we're hurting inside,
But why like this? Why don't we.. just cry?

"You're weak" says society " Real men don't feel"
But how is a man, ever going to heal?
Yes we are gay,. yes we are homos,
Thank you to this world, filled with low blows.

Real men don't cry, real men shove,
Then how is a man supposed to be capable of love?
My lover and I tear each other apart,
Because society taught us it's wrong to have a heart.

Baby I love you, lets work through this together,
When I said I loved you, I meant forever,
Please kill the fire, turn off the ignition,
This is now, our driven mission.

Hold me instead of shoving me away,
If time is forever, those moments feel like days,
Kiss me back when I'm trying to snuff our monsters,
We need to kill them, not let them grow stronger.
I won't ever hurt you, not ever again,
Even when fighting, remember we're friends.

It's okay to yell, scream your lungs out,
All that energy, it's okay if you shout.
But bite your tongue if you're ever going to say,
Hurtful things you can never take away.

Place your palm in mine, reconnect with me,
We may be angry but it's not always to be,
We will get better, even as we shake,
It is better to be like this, than to let our hearts break.

Or rather..break each other's to pieces, smash it to oblivion.
It makes it hard.,..to fathom it beating again.
Just let me love you, and I'll let you love me in return.
It is better to love.. than to ever..hurt.

Let me start over, "Hi, my name is Rei"
Let you start over "What will you have today"
We'll laugh, it's awkward, every second tics by,
You smile, I smile...Inside we're alive.


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