I like how you flowed that and it’s so real how you feel. Sometimes work in progress is a good thing Ild like to read more if your not finished. I’m sorry you are hurt so much but your words express a real thought and feeling I’m enduring myself.
The visuals are superb. It is so deeply emotional. A soul cracks into two like a tree struck by lightening. Often when we are hurt our heart and soul feels like it is split or shattered so your similes are spot on. Then in the second stanza you compare a cloudy mind to stormy skies and a numb body to a drunk when they have had too much. Pain also causes the body to make you feel numb like a protective reaction to help cope. The final stanza then reveals the momentum and depth of the devastation caused reinforcing the cause of the heart and soul breaking pain. All the way through you have used similes to good effect. I noticed you had said this was a working progress. I think for me I imagine that there will be a final stanza revealing the cause or catalyst of this destruction.
Well done on an excellent piece. best wishes Milly x