Still Alive

by Just Sierra   Mar 18, 2005

Through my eyes I cried
A thousand words without delay
And through my soul I touched
Quite a few hearts today

It’s true about my mistakes
And the people that I upset
Because I tossed around careless words
Words I regret

I cried you an ocean
And found myself at a loss for words
And even if I tried to speak
I couldn’t tell you how bad it hurts

Let me just tell you
That at one time I was pure
I remember myself as that happy girl
But now with happiness I’m unsure

It all looks so strange to me
That girl I see on the tape
So young, free and careless
Before she wanted to escape

And I look at myself in the mirror
Again, at a loss for tongue
I wasn’t who I thought I was
No longer am I young

I read my former popular poems
They tend to be about suicide
About how my main character was so much like me
But I killed them off, they died

And I hated that I did this
I guess that’s just how I feel
But I don’t know who I am anymore
I can’t tell which pain in real

Because my dreams are of my past
And my errors I continue to make
They tend to be about the men
Who leave my heart to break

And at times I feel so stressed
Put on the spot
At thing that are in my past
And the things I forgot

So if this poem confused you
I’m sorry, it did me too
Because I no longer know who I am
I don’t think that I know you

I’m in a constant daze
I think that I’ve gone crazy
My mind refuses to work
Every part of me is lazy

But with the support I’ve received
And many threatening comments I’ve read
I am so proud, I show pride
In the fact that only a part of me is dead.

-So very true. I don\'t know why I do the things I do and I don\'t know how I can ask anyone to forgive me because I hate myself more than you\'ll ever know. I hate the fact that I get so carried away and can\'t focus, and that\'s what I did last night when I scared you all, and I feel more sorrow that i hurt you all, more than I feel towards myself. NONE of you deserved that, not even you, Nick. I\'m sorry if I scared any of you but I\'m still here and I want to focus of that and not worry that my own mom told me when I was seven that she knew that one day I was going to commit suicide. I don\'t want to think about it, so I don\'t think any of you should either. Don\'t be scared for me, please. Hopefully death won\'t catch up to me until I\'m an old woman. Thank you all, and I mean ALL of you, for being my moral support and looking out for me with great intentions and I\'m sorry I never listened. You all really do mean a lot to me and nothing I could ever say could describe how passionately i mean that!! Love you all!!-


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Latest Comments

  • 13 years ago

    by Georgi

    awwwwwww! great poem, i feel exactly the same....

  • 13 years ago

    by Red Charm

    Yeah well I have to go but check out some more of my poems and comment if you can. I'll read more of yours later when I get back on.

  • 13 years ago

    by Red Charm

    He took pictures of his... and some girls saw it and reported it. It started in Feb. The school tried to say they didn't do anything at first because they thought it was a rumor since Dec. but that was a lie. We didn't have any rumor about Mr.Byrd til Feb,right before break.It's crazy. He was my 6th period teacher

  • 13 years ago

    by Red Charm

    I live in Barnesville in Lamar County. We were on the news a few weeks ago we had a teacher arrested.

  • 13 years ago

    by Just Sierra

    lol-I don't see what you're talking about, lol, BUT OKAY!!!!! *referring to my talent*

    I'm hyper because my mofo stepdad has left for Florida for a week, leaving my sister, me and my mom, hasn't been like this in 4 or 5 years. So I feel free...oh yah, and I had free access to the refrigerator and baked like 3 cakes, and ate some fries and chicken strips just cuz I wanted too. I'm so lucky I'm not a fat @$s. lol. *OOOWOWW HOLY CRAP!! BACK JUST POPPED!! OUWWIES PAIN!!*

    I hope you now know why I'm hyper. Just be hyper with me and it'll get all the crap load of trouble off your mind.

    Want some cake? Plenty of it!!