Physical Abuse

I can feel the blood rush to my hand
After you held it tight
You squeezed too hard on my wrist
This happens every night

Mommy is shaking in the edge of the room
I can tell she wants to scream
But I want more than she wants
I want this to be a dream

He’s not the man that I married
Why do I have to stay here with him?
I hate the way he looks at me
Despising my every limb

Mommy sees him throw me against the wall
She’s searching for a defense
Meanwhile he’s kicking me
I feel my stomach tense

I want just to be left alone
And these bruises to go away
But there are more than the physical kind
Mentally, I’m in disarray

No one knows how far he’ll take it
Or what he plans to do
I don’t know what can be expected
Or if the night is almost through

But solemnly I take the pain
As I’m used to it now
I no longer wonder why
No longer wondering how

Mommy is still fumbling in the corner
Intending just to kill
But I want what he took from me
I want to see his blood spill

My mind keeps trying to drift off
I don’t want to know what I’m to become
I like to pretend that he doesn’t hurt me
That physically I’m numb

I feel a punch and kick here and there
Tears welling up in my eyes
Even though my eyes are closed
I can sense my mom arise

Fear is spreading over me
As what I see fills me with dread
My eyes are finally open
My mom’s holding a gun to her head

Dad doesn’t seem to see it
But mom’s reached the last line
In my dreams it replays again
I’ll never be just fine

Fear is what I’m used to
I can feel it in the air
Its every breathe I seem to breath
Its every lock of hair

Still, to this day I wonder
How far will he go?
To ever mother and daughter
I just want you to know

You’re not alone in the game
There’s always a way out
There’s always a little water
In the middle of a drought

This is my hope to you
That together you’ll be strong
Because some day soon this’ll be over
And you’ll be moving on

Darkness is only temporary
Unlike scars upon your skin
Abuse is something you can stop
Just don’t let it begin.

-Dedicated to my mom, who I know was beaten tragically like this. She was forced to watch her mom, my nana, hold a gun to her head before. It scares me, but all I know is that this should stop. Abuse is something that messes with generations after it first started. Please treat your children well.-