Nothing More Than A Ghost To You

**This is actually a story, not a poem, but you should still read it!

I’d been thinking of you all day long, and finally made up my mind to tell you the truth. I just saw those gorgeous eyes of yours staring back at me in my head, making me smile just the slightest bit. I was already on my way to your house, knowing at the beginning of the day that I had to see you, and I was almost there. A few blocks and a few imagined conversations later, I saw your house and quickened my pace to get there. I stopped at your door and took a deep breath, telling myself that I couldn’t turn back after how far I’d come. I was going to tell you how I feel about you, and nothing was going to stop me. I knocked on your door after telling myself to relax and waited for your answer. As soon as you opened the door, your eyes lit up and you graced the world with your smile. I was surprised how happy you were to see me, honestly. Then, without warning, you ran right past me into the arms of a guy I hadn’t noticed until now. In that tiny instant, my heart seemed to disappear into me. It was like you didn’t even see me, he was all you cared about. After all we’d been through, I’m nothing more than a ghost to you. It hurt in my chest, but more than that, it burned my throat. I felt as if I’d never speak again. How could this happen? I’d been planning to let my heart run free to you, to open up and confess everything, and now my throat is crippled. I got the most intense butterflies in my stomach as I watched in horror as you greeted him with a simple, soft kiss. Just a kiss, but my entire world lately disappeared into his lips. My obsession got lost between you two, as everything seemed to turn upside down. I started to feel sick to my stomach and collapsed to my knees as I wondered how this could have happened to me. As tears filled my eyes unmercifully, I looked back up to see you two walking the way I’d come, arms around each other. Your head rested on his shoulder, as I’d wished would happen to me countless times. I sobbed on your porch, pathetically, for hours and hours until you returned. Your face contorted and you asked if I was okay. Looking up at your face, changed forever to me by earlier events, I could do nothing more than look away. I slowly got to my feet while shaking my head “no” and started to walk away. I was walking away from the only girl I’d ever loved. Away from my planned future and my means of getting to tomorrow and the next day and so on. I realized as I took my first few steps that I was walking away from you forever, and the pain in that realization made me stop walking. It seemed like years before I could move my feet again, and as I silently said my goodbyes to you, I waited for an oncoming car to throw myself in front of. If I couldn’t have you, I couldn’t go on, and I knew that. I knew it in my soul, my mind, and what was left of my broken heart.