Trapped

My brain says one thing while my speech refuses,
While my heart stays still and goes unnoticed.
I feel locked up with no where to go,
I dont know what Im doing; dont know where Im going,
Dont know what to feel; dont know what to say,
I hope it will all be better soon, hope it will one day.
But I think Im dreaming, it cant all get better,
Never does, so why should it now?
Just like always, I am full on questions but Im so empty on answers,
The sadness I feel is killing me like cancer.
I look up, raise my head and I stare,
I try to be strong but its a pointless dare.
Its like lifting the world upon my shoulders,
But try as I may my heart only gets colder.
The smarter I get, more knowledge in my mind,
Happiness is still impossible to find.
So I feel its best to give up, I cant go on,
People tell me to keep going but I have been for so long.
And they wouldnt understand, its me who knows best,
Ill do as I wish and wont take anything less.
I know that someday, sometime into the future,
There is a chance, a single hope I will feel better.
But for now, I cant see that, I see darkness not light,
So thats why Im sad, all because of this thing called life.